"Ashokan Farewell", better known as the theme song from Ken Burn's "The Civil War" has been playing in my head and on my stereo at work and in the car for a while now. The theme of the music kind of matches where I am in my head right now. If you have never heard it, go on Youtube and do a search, either on Ashokan Farewell or "The Civil War Music". It's an instrumental that's all violin and guitar. Slow, ploddingly slow, filled with regret, some sadness, and just a touch of backward looking thrown in for good measure.
I have to do something real soon that I am not looking forward to. It's necessary, at least in my mind, but "necessary" doesn't make it more pleasant. For me or anyone else involved. In some ways, the actions I will be taking will be decidedly unpleasant.
There are significant changes coming. Some of them soon, within hours. Others over a course of time. With these changes will come a mix of sadness and anger for some, relief for others.
Anger at me.
Regrets.
Wasted opportunities.
Change is in fact inevitable, but not necessarily good. No, these changes won't be good, not by a long shot.
I just hope that everyone involved understands that the actions I am about to take are both regrettable and necessary, at least where I am sitting. These decisions are ones that I have made and delayed, but the time has come to "get to the getting". To "piss on the fire and call the dogs".
The results of these changes will speak for themselves, in ways I probably cannot even fathom right now. I hope that the actions I am about to take work out well for all involved. Given that it's something I'm doing, probably not, but hope springs in the heart of a fairly young man.
Let's just see what happens.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
The Silent Treatment, Future Jobs, and Health Care
There are people that I know who believe that “the silent treatment” is a great tool for punishing people around them in a subtle but unmistakable way. They believe that if they say nothing or very little, the person who is the target for this will be sent a message that they are, in some way, not happy or angry. Their silence, they believe, is an indication that the person being targeted with the lack of noise is being punished by not hearing the words coming out of their mouth that they may be accustomed to hearing.
The problem with this approach is people like me. I don’t view “the silent treatment” as a punishment; that the person being quiet is causing me pain. No, kidlings, I look at it in the opposite way. When a coworker or someone else is being quiet, my first reaction is “Thank Christ he/she is not trying to talk to me.” In fact, most of the time I view the quietness as A Good Thing. This is especially true if it’s a person who has a tendency to bitch/moan/complain a lot, or has opinions about Every Subject Known to Man (most of which are stupid/boring/make no sense/all of the above). Silence is Golden, indeed.
+ + + + + + +
Here’s something to think about. Right now, in 2011, there are a lot of people employed in professions that did not exist 20 years ago. This is mostly due to the advancement of technology and changes in society in our world.
With that in mind, think about a job that you would love to do that doesn’t exist right now. Something that you would be good at and at the same time, enjoy immensely.
My personal choice would be Professional Masturbator. Job doesn’t exist, but maybe in the future it would, for whatever bizarre reason. Probably have to be done on a quota system, and, come to think of it (no pun intended) it probably already exists in the adult entertainment industry.
Still, it would be pretty cool to get paid for doing something we all already do for free. (Admit it, you masturbate. I know I do and have no problem with admitting it).
+ + + + + + +
Why do they call doctors and nurses “health care providers”? Do these people actually give you good health, or are they simply advisors to tell you ways to reach good health? “You look like shit. Here, I will provide you with some health”. Seems to me that they’re people who help you when your health really sucks.
+ + + + + + +
I find irony in a lot of things, especially here on Guam. For example, take American Grocery, which is a large very popular grocery store located in the heart of Dededo. It is staffed by a group who is 95% Filipino, and stocked with food that is 90% Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, and Korean. The store itself is owned by a Korean. Yet it’s called American Grocery. I find that a little weird.
+ + + + + + +
Getting older sucks, but, as I pointed out to my wife, it beats the hell out of the alternative, which is not getting older.
The problem with this approach is people like me. I don’t view “the silent treatment” as a punishment; that the person being quiet is causing me pain. No, kidlings, I look at it in the opposite way. When a coworker or someone else is being quiet, my first reaction is “Thank Christ he/she is not trying to talk to me.” In fact, most of the time I view the quietness as A Good Thing. This is especially true if it’s a person who has a tendency to bitch/moan/complain a lot, or has opinions about Every Subject Known to Man (most of which are stupid/boring/make no sense/all of the above). Silence is Golden, indeed.
+ + + + + + +
Here’s something to think about. Right now, in 2011, there are a lot of people employed in professions that did not exist 20 years ago. This is mostly due to the advancement of technology and changes in society in our world.
With that in mind, think about a job that you would love to do that doesn’t exist right now. Something that you would be good at and at the same time, enjoy immensely.
My personal choice would be Professional Masturbator. Job doesn’t exist, but maybe in the future it would, for whatever bizarre reason. Probably have to be done on a quota system, and, come to think of it (no pun intended) it probably already exists in the adult entertainment industry.
Still, it would be pretty cool to get paid for doing something we all already do for free. (Admit it, you masturbate. I know I do and have no problem with admitting it).
+ + + + + + +
Why do they call doctors and nurses “health care providers”? Do these people actually give you good health, or are they simply advisors to tell you ways to reach good health? “You look like shit. Here, I will provide you with some health”. Seems to me that they’re people who help you when your health really sucks.
+ + + + + + +
I find irony in a lot of things, especially here on Guam. For example, take American Grocery, which is a large very popular grocery store located in the heart of Dededo. It is staffed by a group who is 95% Filipino, and stocked with food that is 90% Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, and Korean. The store itself is owned by a Korean. Yet it’s called American Grocery. I find that a little weird.
+ + + + + + +
Getting older sucks, but, as I pointed out to my wife, it beats the hell out of the alternative, which is not getting older.
Plethora of the Inane
Good morning and Welcome to Thursday. A full-bore plethora of this and that for your reading edification, for that handful of people who actually take the time to read my insane gibberish.
An old Chamorro guy and I were chatting the other day while I was waiting on the laundry to do its thing. He told me that we’re in the dry season here on Guam. If that is in fact the case, then it’s starting out as an awfully wet dry season. It has done nothing but piss down rain most of this week. Yesterday I spent most of the day in rain, the good news being that I was indoors for most of it.
+ + + + + +
Did something last night that I rarely do. I’ve had the beard off now for the better part of 4 months, trying to give my skin a bit of a break from all the hair. Last night, the moustache finally left the face, which has only happened probably 5 times in the last 20 years or so. I must say, I look different, like looking at a stranger this morning when I was doing my early morning grooming.
+ + + + + +
In two separate attempts, it has become apparent that I suck at marriage or marital bliss. It should also be noted for the record that my present wife, The Gorgeous One, also suffers from the same affliction. I continually (but completely unintentionally) do things that piss her off. Try as I might, there is always something that I’ve either done or didn’t do or some personal quirk that I have that irks her.
By the same token, every time she opens her mouth, in general it’s going to be something bad. It’s not like it was before; far from it. We used to be one of the most lovey-dovey couples on the planet. Not so much anymore. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re both working our asses off, or that she’s had a couple of health problems lately. I love the woman to death and always will, but something’s gotta change and soon.
+ + + + + +
In three days time, I will once again attempt to stop smoking. It has been an ongoing struggle between me and Demon Tobacco for three decades. The problem is that I love to smoke, but it’s a relationship similar to being hopelessly in love/lust with a serial killer. Fingers (and maybe dicks) crossed that I will finally be able to kick the habit. Every other attempt has ended in Utter Failure.
+ + + + + +
I love to rock out, and always will. With that said though, lately I’ve been in kind of a country-bluegrass place musically. A lot of Ashokan Farewell (which is probably the most beautiful and horribly sad songs ever written). Plenty of Garth Brooks, Marshall Tucker Band (for the southern rockiness of it). Liberal doses of John Denver (Grandma’s Feather Bed is simply a fun song that I love to sing along to). Dunno why I’ve been getting my redneck on, but I think it has to do with finding comfort in something old and familiar when the world around you is doing it’s utmost to kick the living shit out of you.
As far as reading is concerned, I’ve started rereading a lot of old Hunter S. Thompson books, namely Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail ’72, and a couple of others. “The Vegas Book” as the Good Doctor referred to it, still holds up really well as one of the funniest books ever written. Death to the Weird, indeed. Hunter S. Thompson was the 20th Century’s Mark Twain, and so much more.
+ + + + + +
I have to give some training this morning on one of the little projects that I am working on, so that a larger number of people in my department can share the pain. To some people, this would be a pain in the ass, but in reality I like giving training. Always did, always will. There is something very satisfying about passing on knowledge that will make those you work with learn something new, and there is the potential that doing so will give me more time to work on other things once these guys are up to speed.
+ + + + + +
More later. Must have coffee and a cigarette.
An old Chamorro guy and I were chatting the other day while I was waiting on the laundry to do its thing. He told me that we’re in the dry season here on Guam. If that is in fact the case, then it’s starting out as an awfully wet dry season. It has done nothing but piss down rain most of this week. Yesterday I spent most of the day in rain, the good news being that I was indoors for most of it.
+ + + + + +
Did something last night that I rarely do. I’ve had the beard off now for the better part of 4 months, trying to give my skin a bit of a break from all the hair. Last night, the moustache finally left the face, which has only happened probably 5 times in the last 20 years or so. I must say, I look different, like looking at a stranger this morning when I was doing my early morning grooming.
+ + + + + +
In two separate attempts, it has become apparent that I suck at marriage or marital bliss. It should also be noted for the record that my present wife, The Gorgeous One, also suffers from the same affliction. I continually (but completely unintentionally) do things that piss her off. Try as I might, there is always something that I’ve either done or didn’t do or some personal quirk that I have that irks her.
By the same token, every time she opens her mouth, in general it’s going to be something bad. It’s not like it was before; far from it. We used to be one of the most lovey-dovey couples on the planet. Not so much anymore. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re both working our asses off, or that she’s had a couple of health problems lately. I love the woman to death and always will, but something’s gotta change and soon.
+ + + + + +
In three days time, I will once again attempt to stop smoking. It has been an ongoing struggle between me and Demon Tobacco for three decades. The problem is that I love to smoke, but it’s a relationship similar to being hopelessly in love/lust with a serial killer. Fingers (and maybe dicks) crossed that I will finally be able to kick the habit. Every other attempt has ended in Utter Failure.
+ + + + + +
I love to rock out, and always will. With that said though, lately I’ve been in kind of a country-bluegrass place musically. A lot of Ashokan Farewell (which is probably the most beautiful and horribly sad songs ever written). Plenty of Garth Brooks, Marshall Tucker Band (for the southern rockiness of it). Liberal doses of John Denver (Grandma’s Feather Bed is simply a fun song that I love to sing along to). Dunno why I’ve been getting my redneck on, but I think it has to do with finding comfort in something old and familiar when the world around you is doing it’s utmost to kick the living shit out of you.
As far as reading is concerned, I’ve started rereading a lot of old Hunter S. Thompson books, namely Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail ’72, and a couple of others. “The Vegas Book” as the Good Doctor referred to it, still holds up really well as one of the funniest books ever written. Death to the Weird, indeed. Hunter S. Thompson was the 20th Century’s Mark Twain, and so much more.
+ + + + + +
I have to give some training this morning on one of the little projects that I am working on, so that a larger number of people in my department can share the pain. To some people, this would be a pain in the ass, but in reality I like giving training. Always did, always will. There is something very satisfying about passing on knowledge that will make those you work with learn something new, and there is the potential that doing so will give me more time to work on other things once these guys are up to speed.
+ + + + + +
More later. Must have coffee and a cigarette.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Job Stuff, Head Space, and Bad Driving at Its Finest
A look at job stuff, head space, and bad driving on a near criminal level……
One of my friends turned in his resignation yesterday where I work. Well, the word “friend” doesn’t quite cover it. He’s more like a brother than a friend, someone I would happily commit misdemeanors for if he needed something. Anyway, I knew that the resignation was coming now for a couple of months, and knew it wouldn’t be long in coming. The Management Team supposedly refused his resignation, even refused to pick up the paper it was written on.
It changes nothing, because a week from this Friday is his last day with our company, and that’s sad. Sad that it had to come to that. Management is in a panic mode now, but it’s way, way too late for them to do anything to convince him to stay. Pieces are already in motion at the new company my brother will be working at, and the move is going to happen. I’m happy for him because it means a better quality of life for him and his family; sad that our company was so utterly blind as to not see it coming. Also sad that I won’t get the opportunity to work with this mischievous genius every day. I know that he will be the first of a large group who will be leaving the company in due order.
What really gripes my ass is the fact that our management thinks that everything is hunky-dory. They ignore the data gathered from their own employee surveys that show that morale is at an all-time low within the company in general and my department in particular. Something has to change and soon; otherwise the flood gates will open and there will be a mass exodus from what used to be a great place to work.
When I started with this company 4 years ago, I was excited about my job. Loved it, in fact, and couldn’t wait to see what the next day had in store for me. Now, it’s just a paycheck and nothing else. I’ll do what is expected of me, but won’t pour the energy and drive into what I am doing like I did before. As Alexander Hamilton once said, “it has come to that”.
That and the fact that, simply put, I don’t give a shit anymore.
+=+=+=+=
My head has been in a dark place now for the past couple of weeks, due to issues that I deem way to personal to get into in a blog or any other format. Personal and professional things have been weighing heavily on me, but I try not to dwell on any of it too much. These are things that are best kept to myself, and that I’m dealing with it. The only reason I mention it at all is so that everyone who interacts with me on a daily basis understands if I’m a bit moody. Since I’m sure someone will think of it, no, I do not feel like hurting myself or taking my own life, nothing like that. Let’s just say I’m going through some “dark times” and leave it at that.
+=+=+=+=
There is an old bad joke that says if you want to lower the IQ of (name a race or country of origin), simply put them behind the wheel of a car. That can also clearly be said of the locals here on Guam. In the past two days I have seen behavior on the road so bizarre that it defies description. Complete and utter stupidity on a level I have never witnessed before, to include the 14 combined years I lived in Korea.
Driving an automobile is not a complicated thing, but apparently to a lot of people here it’s something they struggle with pretty hard.
+=+=+=+=
That is all ye know and all ye need to know, at least for now.
One of my friends turned in his resignation yesterday where I work. Well, the word “friend” doesn’t quite cover it. He’s more like a brother than a friend, someone I would happily commit misdemeanors for if he needed something. Anyway, I knew that the resignation was coming now for a couple of months, and knew it wouldn’t be long in coming. The Management Team supposedly refused his resignation, even refused to pick up the paper it was written on.
It changes nothing, because a week from this Friday is his last day with our company, and that’s sad. Sad that it had to come to that. Management is in a panic mode now, but it’s way, way too late for them to do anything to convince him to stay. Pieces are already in motion at the new company my brother will be working at, and the move is going to happen. I’m happy for him because it means a better quality of life for him and his family; sad that our company was so utterly blind as to not see it coming. Also sad that I won’t get the opportunity to work with this mischievous genius every day. I know that he will be the first of a large group who will be leaving the company in due order.
What really gripes my ass is the fact that our management thinks that everything is hunky-dory. They ignore the data gathered from their own employee surveys that show that morale is at an all-time low within the company in general and my department in particular. Something has to change and soon; otherwise the flood gates will open and there will be a mass exodus from what used to be a great place to work.
When I started with this company 4 years ago, I was excited about my job. Loved it, in fact, and couldn’t wait to see what the next day had in store for me. Now, it’s just a paycheck and nothing else. I’ll do what is expected of me, but won’t pour the energy and drive into what I am doing like I did before. As Alexander Hamilton once said, “it has come to that”.
That and the fact that, simply put, I don’t give a shit anymore.
+=+=+=+=
My head has been in a dark place now for the past couple of weeks, due to issues that I deem way to personal to get into in a blog or any other format. Personal and professional things have been weighing heavily on me, but I try not to dwell on any of it too much. These are things that are best kept to myself, and that I’m dealing with it. The only reason I mention it at all is so that everyone who interacts with me on a daily basis understands if I’m a bit moody. Since I’m sure someone will think of it, no, I do not feel like hurting myself or taking my own life, nothing like that. Let’s just say I’m going through some “dark times” and leave it at that.
+=+=+=+=
There is an old bad joke that says if you want to lower the IQ of (name a race or country of origin), simply put them behind the wheel of a car. That can also clearly be said of the locals here on Guam. In the past two days I have seen behavior on the road so bizarre that it defies description. Complete and utter stupidity on a level I have never witnessed before, to include the 14 combined years I lived in Korea.
Driving an automobile is not a complicated thing, but apparently to a lot of people here it’s something they struggle with pretty hard.
+=+=+=+=
That is all ye know and all ye need to know, at least for now.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Questions Questions Questions
Some questions that I have pondered recently, in my going and coming………
Why is it that when a man does what his significant other (wife/girlfriend/friend with benefits) does exactly what the woman wants him to do, he sometimes still gets in trouble?
What, exactly, is a “worst case scenario”?
Why is it that if a woman sleeps around with a wide assortment of people, she is considered a slut or a whore, but when a man does it, it’s considered “part of being a man”? Seems a little unfair to me to those who just like to fuck, and there should be no prejudice towards a woman who happens to really like sex.
Why is suicide illegal? I think in some cases it should be encouraged.
Why is it that I can never marry into a family where my in-laws are sane or what would be considered by most people as “normal”? I am extraordinarily fond of many of my wife’s family members, especially those who live in Olongapo. With that said though, some of my in-laws can best be described as “out of their fucking minds”. Two marriages, two groups of people that are by and large borderline batshit crazy. Some of my ex-in-laws were also insane as well. Then again, my family isn’t exactly what anyone would consider as “normal”either.
Why does it seem that those who use the phrase “mind your own business” a lot are incapable of doing just that?
Why are used cars so insanely expensive on Guam?
Why does it seem that there are no thin or ‘height weight proportional” people in the Guam Police Department? Practically every cop I have ever seen on this island appears that they would drop dead of a heart attack if they had to do anything more strenuous than write tickets, beat up Chuukese, and overeat.
Why are so many of the locals so overly fascinated with Bob Marley? Everywhere you go, Bob Marley t-shirts, posters, and other memorabilia everywhere. Marley was Jamaican, not Chamorro. The only connection I can see is because both Jamaica and Guam are islands, and nothing else.
Not to sound racist, but when am I going to meet a cool person from Palau? Every person I have ever met who is proud of coming from Palau seems to be an asshole. Maybe I just haven’t met the really cool Palauans yet, and it’ll happen soon.
Speaking of race, here’s one for ya. Why is it that those who consider themselves dash Americans (Korean-American, Japanese-American, Afro-American, etc) encouraged to be proud of their heritage, but if a Caucasian male makes any noise about being proud of what they are, that white guy is considered a racist, even if he’s not. Granted, the slogans would sound kind of lame (“Proud to be Whitey” kind of doesn’t work), but there is a definite double standard there.
Why is it that there are an inordinate number of Caucasian idiots on this island? Granted there aren’t that many white people here, but a lot of times I see shit that just makes me ashamed to be associated with other white people. Per capita, I think the idiot quotient is a little higher with us white folks.
Maybe I didn’t get the memo, or I’m now officially old, but when did it start to be considered to be attractive for a woman to be covered from head to toe with tattoos? A few I can understand, but the whole body thing just doesn’t work for me. Detracts from the natural beauty of a woman if you ask me.
Why is it that when a man does what his significant other (wife/girlfriend/friend with benefits) does exactly what the woman wants him to do, he sometimes still gets in trouble?
What, exactly, is a “worst case scenario”?
Why is it that if a woman sleeps around with a wide assortment of people, she is considered a slut or a whore, but when a man does it, it’s considered “part of being a man”? Seems a little unfair to me to those who just like to fuck, and there should be no prejudice towards a woman who happens to really like sex.
Why is suicide illegal? I think in some cases it should be encouraged.
Why is it that I can never marry into a family where my in-laws are sane or what would be considered by most people as “normal”? I am extraordinarily fond of many of my wife’s family members, especially those who live in Olongapo. With that said though, some of my in-laws can best be described as “out of their fucking minds”. Two marriages, two groups of people that are by and large borderline batshit crazy. Some of my ex-in-laws were also insane as well. Then again, my family isn’t exactly what anyone would consider as “normal”either.
Why does it seem that those who use the phrase “mind your own business” a lot are incapable of doing just that?
Why are used cars so insanely expensive on Guam?
Why does it seem that there are no thin or ‘height weight proportional” people in the Guam Police Department? Practically every cop I have ever seen on this island appears that they would drop dead of a heart attack if they had to do anything more strenuous than write tickets, beat up Chuukese, and overeat.
Why are so many of the locals so overly fascinated with Bob Marley? Everywhere you go, Bob Marley t-shirts, posters, and other memorabilia everywhere. Marley was Jamaican, not Chamorro. The only connection I can see is because both Jamaica and Guam are islands, and nothing else.
Not to sound racist, but when am I going to meet a cool person from Palau? Every person I have ever met who is proud of coming from Palau seems to be an asshole. Maybe I just haven’t met the really cool Palauans yet, and it’ll happen soon.
Speaking of race, here’s one for ya. Why is it that those who consider themselves dash Americans (Korean-American, Japanese-American, Afro-American, etc) encouraged to be proud of their heritage, but if a Caucasian male makes any noise about being proud of what they are, that white guy is considered a racist, even if he’s not. Granted, the slogans would sound kind of lame (“Proud to be Whitey” kind of doesn’t work), but there is a definite double standard there.
Why is it that there are an inordinate number of Caucasian idiots on this island? Granted there aren’t that many white people here, but a lot of times I see shit that just makes me ashamed to be associated with other white people. Per capita, I think the idiot quotient is a little higher with us white folks.
Maybe I didn’t get the memo, or I’m now officially old, but when did it start to be considered to be attractive for a woman to be covered from head to toe with tattoos? A few I can understand, but the whole body thing just doesn’t work for me. Detracts from the natural beauty of a woman if you ask me.
Harder and Stranger: A Random Mishmash of Thoughts
“And when money talks for the very last time,
And no one walks a step behind,
When there’s only one race and that’s mankind,
We shall be free”
Garth Brooks
A mishmash of thoughts and observations, kinda thrown together in random order.
Getting Shown the Door
Another guy I work with got fired the other day from my department. Apparently the folks from HR thought he might get violent after getting the news because immediately outside the door of the room they were doing the firing in were three of the biggest dudes I have ever seen in my life. This was the first Chamorro I saw who was well over 6’6” and looked like he would not take any shit off of anyone. The firing went off without incident and no one got hurt, at least physically.
I feel for the guy who got fired, because I know him and his wife, and always thought him to be a pretty decent dude. I know some of the “behind the scenes” stuff as to why he got canned, but I’m sure that there is a whole lot more I don’t know. That’s why it sucks to work for a company that can fire you “at will”.
Driving With the Cham-Tards (Chamorro Retards)
Every time I think I have seen it all in regard to bizarre behavior from my fellow citizens when they get behind the wheel of a car, something always happens to make me scratch my head. WTF moments that cause a guy to pause for a minute and ponder if the person behind the wheel has any clue about what they are doing.
This happened to me today. Driving home from work, and a lady (I checked) could not make up her mind where she wanted to make a right turn. She looked like she was turning right, made indications that she was in fact going to turn and even started the turn, but changed her mind at the last minute and decided to go straight. This happened 4 times in the space of 100 meters of road.
BTW, if you happened to be that lady in Hagatna, and heard someone say something along the lines of “What the fuck are you doing?” – that was me.
Surviving Versus Living
Living a Life = squeezing every single bit out of life, making each and every day count for something. Doesn’t necessarily mean just your job, but everything in life. Trying to have as much fun as possible, constantly looking for new experiences, doing new things. Enjoying everything that comes your way, or at least making an effort to enjoy them and not focus in any way on the bad shit.
Surviving a Life = just trying to keep a roof over your head and food in your belly. No time for enjoying life; more like just trying to get through it with some semblance of sanity left intact. Being tired all the time. Bones hurt, body aches. Wife is always pissed off about something and is never “romantically inclined” (meaning “in the mood for love”), boss is not a happy camper. Zero chance for promotion at work, raises few and far between. No extra cash laying around for anything. Work your ass off, go home, and hope to get a little dinner and TV before jumping right back in the rat race.
I don’t know about anyone else, but right now I’m in survival mode. Trying to see the good and not focus on the bad, but right now it’s damn near impossible.
Getting Stuck
Currently at my job, I am the stuckee on a project that has everyone in a twitter over at The Death Star (my name for Corporate Headquarters) here at Totally Bogus Communications. It’s called Asset Tracking, and I’m the stuckee for my department because I was given the project 2 years ago to get it up and running. Two years have passed, and nothing else has been done on it, so guess who gets stuck with it again.
This is maddening to me, because I’m not a logistics person, but got stuck with it anyway. So I have been busting my ass getting shit organized and back up to speed, but because of that, have not been able to focus my attention on my primary job. This forced me to recently tell my three bosses to not get upset if shit starts breaking or falling through the cracks, because I can’t do both at the same time. Because the project takes a lot of highly tedious work to get done, I have also recommended to the bosses that they hire someone full time to do it. Because what I suggested meant actually spending money, this was of course rejected out of hand. Yep, it just keeps getting harder and stranger around here.
“When the Going Gets Weird, the Weird Turn Pro.” – Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
And no one walks a step behind,
When there’s only one race and that’s mankind,
We shall be free”
Garth Brooks
A mishmash of thoughts and observations, kinda thrown together in random order.
Getting Shown the Door
Another guy I work with got fired the other day from my department. Apparently the folks from HR thought he might get violent after getting the news because immediately outside the door of the room they were doing the firing in were three of the biggest dudes I have ever seen in my life. This was the first Chamorro I saw who was well over 6’6” and looked like he would not take any shit off of anyone. The firing went off without incident and no one got hurt, at least physically.
I feel for the guy who got fired, because I know him and his wife, and always thought him to be a pretty decent dude. I know some of the “behind the scenes” stuff as to why he got canned, but I’m sure that there is a whole lot more I don’t know. That’s why it sucks to work for a company that can fire you “at will”.
Driving With the Cham-Tards (Chamorro Retards)
Every time I think I have seen it all in regard to bizarre behavior from my fellow citizens when they get behind the wheel of a car, something always happens to make me scratch my head. WTF moments that cause a guy to pause for a minute and ponder if the person behind the wheel has any clue about what they are doing.
This happened to me today. Driving home from work, and a lady (I checked) could not make up her mind where she wanted to make a right turn. She looked like she was turning right, made indications that she was in fact going to turn and even started the turn, but changed her mind at the last minute and decided to go straight. This happened 4 times in the space of 100 meters of road.
BTW, if you happened to be that lady in Hagatna, and heard someone say something along the lines of “What the fuck are you doing?” – that was me.
Surviving Versus Living
Living a Life = squeezing every single bit out of life, making each and every day count for something. Doesn’t necessarily mean just your job, but everything in life. Trying to have as much fun as possible, constantly looking for new experiences, doing new things. Enjoying everything that comes your way, or at least making an effort to enjoy them and not focus in any way on the bad shit.
Surviving a Life = just trying to keep a roof over your head and food in your belly. No time for enjoying life; more like just trying to get through it with some semblance of sanity left intact. Being tired all the time. Bones hurt, body aches. Wife is always pissed off about something and is never “romantically inclined” (meaning “in the mood for love”), boss is not a happy camper. Zero chance for promotion at work, raises few and far between. No extra cash laying around for anything. Work your ass off, go home, and hope to get a little dinner and TV before jumping right back in the rat race.
I don’t know about anyone else, but right now I’m in survival mode. Trying to see the good and not focus on the bad, but right now it’s damn near impossible.
Getting Stuck
Currently at my job, I am the stuckee on a project that has everyone in a twitter over at The Death Star (my name for Corporate Headquarters) here at Totally Bogus Communications. It’s called Asset Tracking, and I’m the stuckee for my department because I was given the project 2 years ago to get it up and running. Two years have passed, and nothing else has been done on it, so guess who gets stuck with it again.
This is maddening to me, because I’m not a logistics person, but got stuck with it anyway. So I have been busting my ass getting shit organized and back up to speed, but because of that, have not been able to focus my attention on my primary job. This forced me to recently tell my three bosses to not get upset if shit starts breaking or falling through the cracks, because I can’t do both at the same time. Because the project takes a lot of highly tedious work to get done, I have also recommended to the bosses that they hire someone full time to do it. Because what I suggested meant actually spending money, this was of course rejected out of hand. Yep, it just keeps getting harder and stranger around here.
“When the Going Gets Weird, the Weird Turn Pro.” – Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Slanguage
It’s no secret that I have always been fascinated by language. Not just English, which is my native language and one that I’m somewhat fluent in, but all languages. Phrases, especially those that are considered slang or slanguage, interests me a lot.
Here are a few phrases that have crossed my frontal lobes recently.
QUIET DESPERATION
I love this phrase, because in two simple words, there is a lot of power. It means that things are so incredibly fucked up, the spoken word cannot possibly convey how fucked up the situation is. Whatever is going on is so horribly wrong, it defies description. I have “been there, done that” on more than one occasion.
I WOULDN’T PISS ON HIM IF HE WERE ON FIRE
A product of my Missouri/Colorado upbringing, heard many times from the males in my family. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t mean that the speaker has an urge to urinate on someone. What it means is that a person is so beneath contempt, so utterly worthless and assholish, that the speaker would rather watch the person burn to death rather than helping put out the fire in a vulgar fashion. I often use this phrase concerning nearly every member of the Executive Management Team of the company I work for.
TAKING A SHIT/PISS
Ok, if you’re taking it, exactly where are you taking it? For that matter, why are you taking it?
IT IS WHAT IT IS
This phrase is both annoying and amusing at the same time. Annoying when overused, amusing when it slid into a conversation every once in a while. It defines something without either sugarcoating it or making it sound worse than it actually is.
REFERRING TO SOMEONE AS “A DICK”
The use of the word dick as a description confuses me somewhat, even though I use it often. On one hand, a dick is something that is very personal to most men. Even if our dicks are small, they are a part of us, a part that sometimes shapes our masculinity. I don’t know one man who isn’t quite fond of his dick. I like my dick a lot, even though it has gotten me into a lot of trouble throughout my life.
With that said, calling someone a dick is a great way to express negative feelings towards another person or about another person. When someone tells you, “That guy is a dick”, you know for a fact that the person speaking holds the other person in a high level of distain.
These are just some of the things I think about when I’m overly tired, or my imagination starts running wild.
Here are a few phrases that have crossed my frontal lobes recently.
QUIET DESPERATION
I love this phrase, because in two simple words, there is a lot of power. It means that things are so incredibly fucked up, the spoken word cannot possibly convey how fucked up the situation is. Whatever is going on is so horribly wrong, it defies description. I have “been there, done that” on more than one occasion.
I WOULDN’T PISS ON HIM IF HE WERE ON FIRE
A product of my Missouri/Colorado upbringing, heard many times from the males in my family. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t mean that the speaker has an urge to urinate on someone. What it means is that a person is so beneath contempt, so utterly worthless and assholish, that the speaker would rather watch the person burn to death rather than helping put out the fire in a vulgar fashion. I often use this phrase concerning nearly every member of the Executive Management Team of the company I work for.
TAKING A SHIT/PISS
Ok, if you’re taking it, exactly where are you taking it? For that matter, why are you taking it?
IT IS WHAT IT IS
This phrase is both annoying and amusing at the same time. Annoying when overused, amusing when it slid into a conversation every once in a while. It defines something without either sugarcoating it or making it sound worse than it actually is.
REFERRING TO SOMEONE AS “A DICK”
The use of the word dick as a description confuses me somewhat, even though I use it often. On one hand, a dick is something that is very personal to most men. Even if our dicks are small, they are a part of us, a part that sometimes shapes our masculinity. I don’t know one man who isn’t quite fond of his dick. I like my dick a lot, even though it has gotten me into a lot of trouble throughout my life.
With that said, calling someone a dick is a great way to express negative feelings towards another person or about another person. When someone tells you, “That guy is a dick”, you know for a fact that the person speaking holds the other person in a high level of distain.
These are just some of the things I think about when I’m overly tired, or my imagination starts running wild.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Weirdness at the Edge of Town
“When the Going Gets Weird, The Weird Turn Pro.”
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
A little bit of this, a smidgeon of that, along with a heaping pile of my usual bullshit.
+++++++++
I know for a fact that my wife loves me. If she didn’t, then she would have been gone a long time ago. She doesn’t continue to put up with my bullshit because she has no other options, either financially or romantically.
With that said, though, I’m also intelligent enough to know that there are many times when she doesn’t really like me. When I hear the contempt in her voice, I know at that moment that she is thinking that I either have a learning disability or I’m slightly retarded.
I will freely admit that I suck at marriage. I’m far from the greatest husband in the world even though I worship the ground my wife walks on. I do things that I know will piss my wife off, but for some reason can’t stop doing those things, no matter how hard I try.
Maybe I am a little retarded after all.
++++++++++
The other day, as I was driving past Latte Stone Park near my house, I noticed a large group of Japanese tourists doing their thing. It reminded me of a question that has often crossed my mind when I come across a large group of Japanese tourists throughout my travels around Guam.
The question is this; is it a requirement that every Japanese male who is on vacation has to wear the ugliest hat available to him? We’re not talking just ugly. I’m taking about hats that are so hideous that they would be found in the “marked down for immediate sale” bin at even the shabbiest of stores. Headgear so bad, even Stevie Wonder wouldn’t wear it.
These same guys who are rocking the horrible lids almost always are in the company of really beautiful women. Not just your average every day run-of-the-mill pretty girl; I’m talking about some women that make a brother stop in his tracks just to admire what he is seeing. Is there a correlation between the shitty chapeaus and the gorgeous women-folk? Something to think about.
++++++++++
There are a small group of my best friends on the planet who, unbeknownst by their present employers, are getting ready to walk off their jobs. All of these friends are fed up with their present employer, and it all has to do in some form or fashion with leadership.
People deserve to be led, not managed. You manage equipment, systems, situations. Human beings have to have leadership. You simply cannot manage people. Doesn’t work, never has, and never will. It’s sad because this group of friends have literally bled for the company that they work for, sacrificed themselves, put their families second to the needs of their employer on many occasions. Kids birthdays missed, quality time with the spouse set aside, vacations never taken.
I know the people that these friends work for, and would love to be a fly on the wall when they go in to hand in their resignations. Not for the ugliness involved, because there will be nothing ugly about it. These guys know how to do things in a classy way. No, the reason I would like to see it when it happens is to see that moment of awareness in their managers face when he realizes “I have well and truly fucked up, big time”.
++++++++++
That is all Ye know, and all Ye need to know, for now anyway.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
A little bit of this, a smidgeon of that, along with a heaping pile of my usual bullshit.
+++++++++
I know for a fact that my wife loves me. If she didn’t, then she would have been gone a long time ago. She doesn’t continue to put up with my bullshit because she has no other options, either financially or romantically.
With that said, though, I’m also intelligent enough to know that there are many times when she doesn’t really like me. When I hear the contempt in her voice, I know at that moment that she is thinking that I either have a learning disability or I’m slightly retarded.
I will freely admit that I suck at marriage. I’m far from the greatest husband in the world even though I worship the ground my wife walks on. I do things that I know will piss my wife off, but for some reason can’t stop doing those things, no matter how hard I try.
Maybe I am a little retarded after all.
++++++++++
The other day, as I was driving past Latte Stone Park near my house, I noticed a large group of Japanese tourists doing their thing. It reminded me of a question that has often crossed my mind when I come across a large group of Japanese tourists throughout my travels around Guam.
The question is this; is it a requirement that every Japanese male who is on vacation has to wear the ugliest hat available to him? We’re not talking just ugly. I’m taking about hats that are so hideous that they would be found in the “marked down for immediate sale” bin at even the shabbiest of stores. Headgear so bad, even Stevie Wonder wouldn’t wear it.
These same guys who are rocking the horrible lids almost always are in the company of really beautiful women. Not just your average every day run-of-the-mill pretty girl; I’m talking about some women that make a brother stop in his tracks just to admire what he is seeing. Is there a correlation between the shitty chapeaus and the gorgeous women-folk? Something to think about.
++++++++++
There are a small group of my best friends on the planet who, unbeknownst by their present employers, are getting ready to walk off their jobs. All of these friends are fed up with their present employer, and it all has to do in some form or fashion with leadership.
People deserve to be led, not managed. You manage equipment, systems, situations. Human beings have to have leadership. You simply cannot manage people. Doesn’t work, never has, and never will. It’s sad because this group of friends have literally bled for the company that they work for, sacrificed themselves, put their families second to the needs of their employer on many occasions. Kids birthdays missed, quality time with the spouse set aside, vacations never taken.
I know the people that these friends work for, and would love to be a fly on the wall when they go in to hand in their resignations. Not for the ugliness involved, because there will be nothing ugly about it. These guys know how to do things in a classy way. No, the reason I would like to see it when it happens is to see that moment of awareness in their managers face when he realizes “I have well and truly fucked up, big time”.
++++++++++
That is all Ye know, and all Ye need to know, for now anyway.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Disconnected Thoughts
Ever listen to a piece of music that was totally sad and a bit depressing, but one you couldn’t stop listening to because you loved it so much? That’s where I am right now with a song called Ashokan Farewell. For those of you unfamiliar with it, it was the overall theme music for Ken Burn’s great multipart documentary The Civil War that aired on PBS about 20 years ago.
Simple violin and guitar, playing what I consider a cross between a dirge and a serenade. It makes me sad every single time I hear it, but at the same time, I simply adore it. I actually loaded it into my phone, so that whenever the urge strikes me, I can listen to it.
= + = + =
Once in a while, you get one of Those Moments that kind of sticks in your memory, stands out from all of the other gibberish that we all have to deal with.
The wife and I are kind of a strange couple, in that we don’t actually do a lot of shit together. I’ll get home from work, and we’ll talk briefly, but end up with her in the bedroom watching Filipino TV and me in the living either watching TV or farting around with the computer. It’s not that we don’t love each other; it simply means that we are both into different stuff for entertainment.
Last night, we sat around the kitchen table and talked, for a good long time, about important things and things that are not important. It reminded me, yet again, how insanely beautiful and fascinating my wife is. It was one of those moments when a guy has to count his blessings and be thankful for what he has, rather than what he may want or thinks he deserves.
Why this woman married a knucklehead like me, I have no idea.
= + = + =
If you haven’t discovered it yet, there is a wonderful site on the web where you can obtain free music, if you are a cheap bastard like me. If you have ever been on YouTube and heard something that you wanted for your very own, there is a way to obtain it. While you are rocking out on YouTube, open another browser window and go to listentoyoutube.com. You then copy and paste the URL of the song that you want for your own self into that page, and it will strip the audio and convert it to an MP3. Pretty cool if you are looking for rare shit that people have posted, or just want to hear the audio of something that you saw, like an interview.
= + = + =
More later. Lots of deep stuff swimming through this noggin of mine that I need to capture in a format that normal people can understand.
Simple violin and guitar, playing what I consider a cross between a dirge and a serenade. It makes me sad every single time I hear it, but at the same time, I simply adore it. I actually loaded it into my phone, so that whenever the urge strikes me, I can listen to it.
= + = + =
Once in a while, you get one of Those Moments that kind of sticks in your memory, stands out from all of the other gibberish that we all have to deal with.
The wife and I are kind of a strange couple, in that we don’t actually do a lot of shit together. I’ll get home from work, and we’ll talk briefly, but end up with her in the bedroom watching Filipino TV and me in the living either watching TV or farting around with the computer. It’s not that we don’t love each other; it simply means that we are both into different stuff for entertainment.
Last night, we sat around the kitchen table and talked, for a good long time, about important things and things that are not important. It reminded me, yet again, how insanely beautiful and fascinating my wife is. It was one of those moments when a guy has to count his blessings and be thankful for what he has, rather than what he may want or thinks he deserves.
Why this woman married a knucklehead like me, I have no idea.
= + = + =
If you haven’t discovered it yet, there is a wonderful site on the web where you can obtain free music, if you are a cheap bastard like me. If you have ever been on YouTube and heard something that you wanted for your very own, there is a way to obtain it. While you are rocking out on YouTube, open another browser window and go to listentoyoutube.com. You then copy and paste the URL of the song that you want for your own self into that page, and it will strip the audio and convert it to an MP3. Pretty cool if you are looking for rare shit that people have posted, or just want to hear the audio of something that you saw, like an interview.
= + = + =
More later. Lots of deep stuff swimming through this noggin of mine that I need to capture in a format that normal people can understand.
Friday, December 31, 2010
The Last of My Gibberish for 2010
"As I walk through this wicked world
Searchin for light in the darkness of insanity.
I ask myself: Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?
And each time I feel like this inside,
There's one thing I wanna know:
What's so funny bout peace love & understanding?
What's so funny bout peace love & understanding?"
Elvis Costello
Well, kids, it’s New Years Eve Day here on the lovely island of Guam. As I write this, there are less than 16 hours left in this, The Year of Our Lord 2010.
Now I could, if I really wanted to, go off on some maudlin rant about how 2010 was a shitty year, and then list all of the shittyness in detail. I won’t do that, though. That would be Wrong, Petty, and more importantly, Boring. No one wants to read that kind of whiny emo bullshit, no matter who writes it.
Let’s just say that 2010 was not one of my better years, and leave it at that.
I have absolutely zero plans for celebrating the coming of 2011. My lovely bride is spending this Holiday Season with her family in the Philippines, and they are planning on having a normal Filipino New Year. Lots of food, fireworks, and a little Craziness thrown in for good measure.
I, on the other hand, will probably be spending the evening in our apartment having a long serious talk with my personal physician, Dr. Bombay Sapphire. I have neither the money nor the desire to head out Amongst Them in the bars and hotels, indulging in Bad Behavior and using the excuse that it’s the beginning of a New Year to get away with it.
For me, New Years Eve just marks the fact that I have survived yet another year on this earth, above ground as it were, and haven’t yet had to take "The Long Dirt Nap". Who knows what the New Year has in store for me, or for any of us for that matter?
My hopes for 2011 are pretty simple, actually. Win the Guam Sports Bingo, retire to the Philippines, and spend a few weeks back in the good old US of A seeing a bunch of family and friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. I would dearly love to make a trip to Texas to see my daughter and meet my son-in-law and grand daughter. Go back to Colorado and see my parents, spend a little back porch time with my dad. Swing by Missouri for a few days, then on to Oregon for a few days before heading back to the Philippines and retirement.
When I mention “retirement”, I mean living a quiet life “under the radar”. Live in a small house out in the provinces. Enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Fresh pan de sal delivered by bicycle to my house every morning. Hearing the laughter of my wife and her sisters. A lazy afternoon in a hammock under two mango trees, a gentle breeze to cool my fat ass. Firing up the BBQ and indulging in some pork the way my wife cooks it. Simple stuff, true, but the thought of those things appeals to me.
Aside from that, I don’t have Plan 1.
On behalf of my insanely beautiful and wonderful wife, who I miss terribly, I wish you all a very Happy and Prosperous New Year, a year filled with peace and love. May your homes be filled with laughter, a song in your heart.
Prosit Neujahr!
Manigong Bagong Taon sa Inyo!
Akemashite Omedeto Gozaimasu.
Searchin for light in the darkness of insanity.
I ask myself: Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?
And each time I feel like this inside,
There's one thing I wanna know:
What's so funny bout peace love & understanding?
What's so funny bout peace love & understanding?"
Elvis Costello
Well, kids, it’s New Years Eve Day here on the lovely island of Guam. As I write this, there are less than 16 hours left in this, The Year of Our Lord 2010.
Now I could, if I really wanted to, go off on some maudlin rant about how 2010 was a shitty year, and then list all of the shittyness in detail. I won’t do that, though. That would be Wrong, Petty, and more importantly, Boring. No one wants to read that kind of whiny emo bullshit, no matter who writes it.
Let’s just say that 2010 was not one of my better years, and leave it at that.
I have absolutely zero plans for celebrating the coming of 2011. My lovely bride is spending this Holiday Season with her family in the Philippines, and they are planning on having a normal Filipino New Year. Lots of food, fireworks, and a little Craziness thrown in for good measure.
I, on the other hand, will probably be spending the evening in our apartment having a long serious talk with my personal physician, Dr. Bombay Sapphire. I have neither the money nor the desire to head out Amongst Them in the bars and hotels, indulging in Bad Behavior and using the excuse that it’s the beginning of a New Year to get away with it.
For me, New Years Eve just marks the fact that I have survived yet another year on this earth, above ground as it were, and haven’t yet had to take "The Long Dirt Nap". Who knows what the New Year has in store for me, or for any of us for that matter?
My hopes for 2011 are pretty simple, actually. Win the Guam Sports Bingo, retire to the Philippines, and spend a few weeks back in the good old US of A seeing a bunch of family and friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. I would dearly love to make a trip to Texas to see my daughter and meet my son-in-law and grand daughter. Go back to Colorado and see my parents, spend a little back porch time with my dad. Swing by Missouri for a few days, then on to Oregon for a few days before heading back to the Philippines and retirement.
When I mention “retirement”, I mean living a quiet life “under the radar”. Live in a small house out in the provinces. Enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Fresh pan de sal delivered by bicycle to my house every morning. Hearing the laughter of my wife and her sisters. A lazy afternoon in a hammock under two mango trees, a gentle breeze to cool my fat ass. Firing up the BBQ and indulging in some pork the way my wife cooks it. Simple stuff, true, but the thought of those things appeals to me.
Aside from that, I don’t have Plan 1.
On behalf of my insanely beautiful and wonderful wife, who I miss terribly, I wish you all a very Happy and Prosperous New Year, a year filled with peace and love. May your homes be filled with laughter, a song in your heart.
Prosit Neujahr!
Manigong Bagong Taon sa Inyo!
Akemashite Omedeto Gozaimasu.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Thoughts on the human condition from my point of view here in the cheap seats……..
I have been known, from time to time, to literally bite the hand that feeds me when it comes to talking trash about the people who sign my paycheck. With that said, though, I have to compliment those who manage my department. They held a department appreciation luncheon yesterday at one of the nicer hotels here on Guam, with just the people in my department in attendance. It was a chance to break away from the Bad Craziness and sit down together as a group and enjoy a fine meal together, all on the companies’ dime and the companies’ time. Although I am generally opposed to outings like this, I had a good time, ate some good food, and had a few laughs. Not a bad way to spend a Tuesday afternoon.
=+=
The Wife (aka The Gorgeous One) has extended her visit to the Philippines for a week, and is now due to arrive back on Guam on January 10. We talk every evening, just to let each other know that we’re still alive and still very much in love with each other. Short conversations that usually don’t last more than 5 minutes, but they mean a lot to me (and I think to her too).
Even though our apartment is relatively small, with her not here it seems a whole lot bigger and a whole lot emptier. It’s weird to say it, but I actually miss her occasional nagging when I screw up at home, like forgetting to take the trash out. Still, she’s getting to spend some time with her family and recharge, so I absolutely have no room to say anything. Hell, if we had the money, I’d be there too.
= + =
Much like the way I spent the Christmas holidays, I have absolutely zero plans for New Years Eve or Day. I may have a conversation with Dr. Bombay in the privacy of my own home that evening, but as to going out to a bar, that simply won’t be happening. It will be way to crowded and way too expensive, and without the wife being here, kind of pointless. New Year celebrations at my age are merely a celebration that you have managed to stay above ground for another year without doing significant harm to yourself or others, and not a reason to go spend tons of money with complete strangers getting shitfaced in a bar.
= + =
Being that I am an early riser, I have gotten into the habit of turning on the TV and flipping it to one of the CNN stations, since it seems that every other channel is rocking the infomercials at the hours I get up at. Because of that I have come to the conclusion that Headline News really contains no news at all. Stories that don’t matter a damn to anyone but the most superficial amongst us. The only reason to watch at all has to do with the eye candy who happen to be staffing the news desk. Richelle Carey is totally not hard on the eyes while dishing up the rubbish that passes for news on that station.
That is All Ye Know, and All Ye Need to Know, for now anyway.
They Didn't Tell and I Didn't Ask
A lot of people who know my background have recently been asking me my opinion concerning the recent repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, which as we all know dealt with gays now being able to serve openly in the military. After all, I did spent 15 years wearing the green suit and another 11 as a Department of Defense civilian.
Even though the President has already signed the legislation, there is still work to be done within the multilayered bureaucracy that makes up the DoD before it will actually take affect. You would think that some of the planners in the Pentagon would have maybe come up with some of the background stuff that would need to be kicked into gear in the event that it actually happened, and I think someone probably did. Still, it will take some time before the new internal policies and procedures are in place before it will be truly safe for gays to openly admit their sexuality while wearing the uniform.
In my time in uniform, I knew more than a few people who were gay and serving. Some of them kept it totally on the down-low, and a person would be hard pressed to guess that the soldier in question was gay. Others I have known, to include a couple of noncommissioned officers, were damn near stating it point blank. My mind wanders back to a staff sergeant I knew on Okinawa who was so flamboyant that you just knew he was gay. He carried himself like a drag queen while wearing BDU’s, called nearly everyone who he was friendly with “Honey”, and practically had “I Like Cock” tattooed on his forehead. A walking stereotype, to be sure. He was also, I might add, a good NCO, a friend, and a superb technician.
Having said all of that, I never had any problems with gays in uniform, and don’t now. We all need someone to love, and all have our own personal attractions as to what we as individuals feel is beauty and what turns us on sexually. Who the hell am I to judge anyone on something as personal as who someone should love? There is an old axiom that says that “there are no atheists in foxholes”, and I think the same can be said about an individual sexuality. When the shit hits the fan, no one cares a damn who or what you happen to lick/suck/fuck when you’re in the privacy of your own bedroom (the exception being those who happen to dig children and furry creatures). By and large, most people just care that you’ll hold up your end and be someone that can be depended upon. Do your duty and take care of your end of the deal. Everything else is just details.
Much like when the military was integrated back in the 50’s, there will be some bumps in the road when this is all said and done. There will be more than a few problems that crop up and will have to be dealt with. For that matter, here we are in The Year of Our Lord 2010 and people are still dealing with racial issues, albeit not so much in the military. In the end, the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” will have much the same affect. A little bit of bullshit in the beginning, but in the end, not that big a deal.
I think in a decade or so, people will look back on DADT and wonder what all the fuss and bother was about.
Even though the President has already signed the legislation, there is still work to be done within the multilayered bureaucracy that makes up the DoD before it will actually take affect. You would think that some of the planners in the Pentagon would have maybe come up with some of the background stuff that would need to be kicked into gear in the event that it actually happened, and I think someone probably did. Still, it will take some time before the new internal policies and procedures are in place before it will be truly safe for gays to openly admit their sexuality while wearing the uniform.
In my time in uniform, I knew more than a few people who were gay and serving. Some of them kept it totally on the down-low, and a person would be hard pressed to guess that the soldier in question was gay. Others I have known, to include a couple of noncommissioned officers, were damn near stating it point blank. My mind wanders back to a staff sergeant I knew on Okinawa who was so flamboyant that you just knew he was gay. He carried himself like a drag queen while wearing BDU’s, called nearly everyone who he was friendly with “Honey”, and practically had “I Like Cock” tattooed on his forehead. A walking stereotype, to be sure. He was also, I might add, a good NCO, a friend, and a superb technician.
Having said all of that, I never had any problems with gays in uniform, and don’t now. We all need someone to love, and all have our own personal attractions as to what we as individuals feel is beauty and what turns us on sexually. Who the hell am I to judge anyone on something as personal as who someone should love? There is an old axiom that says that “there are no atheists in foxholes”, and I think the same can be said about an individual sexuality. When the shit hits the fan, no one cares a damn who or what you happen to lick/suck/fuck when you’re in the privacy of your own bedroom (the exception being those who happen to dig children and furry creatures). By and large, most people just care that you’ll hold up your end and be someone that can be depended upon. Do your duty and take care of your end of the deal. Everything else is just details.
Much like when the military was integrated back in the 50’s, there will be some bumps in the road when this is all said and done. There will be more than a few problems that crop up and will have to be dealt with. For that matter, here we are in The Year of Our Lord 2010 and people are still dealing with racial issues, albeit not so much in the military. In the end, the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” will have much the same affect. A little bit of bullshit in the beginning, but in the end, not that big a deal.
I think in a decade or so, people will look back on DADT and wonder what all the fuss and bother was about.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
An Update of Sorts
“I have tried to live my life so that my family would love me and my friends respect me. The others can do whatever the hell they please.”
John Wayne
We were standing outside smoking the other day when one of my friends from Saipan called. Our company (Totally Bogus Communications**) has two offices; one here on Guam and the other on Saipan. He called to tell us about the Christmas party the company had the other night (and that the company paid for). What he didn’t realize is that we here on Guam didn’t and aren’t going to have a Christmas party. He also mentioned that our beloved CEO and various other Managers flew in the day before the event so they could pay a short visit to the staff there, before adjourning to the golf course and their mistresses. My friend also mentioned the fact that the prime rib that was on the menu really kicked ass.
This struck me as wrong, in that our Christmas party here on Guam was cancelled. It also struck me wrong in that our CEO and various other hangers on had no problem flying to Saipan and spending two nights in a very nice hotel at company expense, while at the same time our Finance people nickel and dime us to death. This is the same CEO who can’t be bothered to walk across the street to the department where I work to visit the people who make his network function.
Yeah, I’m feeling the Christmas spirit from those who I work for, if by the Christmas spirit you mean the spirit of Ebenezer Scrooge prior to the visit by the Ghosts.
+=+
I sent an email to all 3 of my bosses the other day asking, point blank, whether or not we were going to get Holiday Bonuses, expecting to get absolutely no answer. Surprisingly, one of my bosses replied to the email in my favor, telling our next boss that if we aren’t going to have a Christmas party, the least they could do is give us a small stipend, show a little love. Surprising me again, our COO replied that he didn’t know of any plans to give us bonuses, but he would ask the CEO if it were going to happen or not.
Some of my friends thought it was pretty bold of me to ask the question. In my head, it was a pretty easy thing to do. The worst they could tell me is no, which is what I expected anyway.
Late this morning, we actually received a bonus, of sorts. We all received a Christmas card that contained a $50 gift certificate to be spent at Pay-More-For-Less, which is our local grocery store chain here on Guam. Money would have been nicer, but as someone once told me, “Never kick a gift horse in the balls”. As soon as I got mine, I used my lunch hour to spend it, the logic being that the bastards might change their minds about it and make us give them back.
+=+
For those who are unaware, my beloved Wife flew back to the Philippines last Saturday. Since she works at an elementary school, and the school let out for Christmas vacation last Friday, we figured a few months back that it would be a Good Thing for her to fly to the PI for a few weeks, rather than sitting at home doing nothing. She’s also there to get an MRI on her neck to see if there is something more serious than a pinched nerve in her neck.
It’s another Christmas alone for me, but it’s really not that big a deal. Christmas hasn’t meant much to me since my daughter got into her teenage years. Add to that the fact that I’ve been a shift worker for most of my adult life, and getting Christmas off was a very rare thing when I did work shift. My plans for Christmas Day are to do as little as possible, watch some movies, eat a lot of junk food, and maybe have a long discussion with Dr. Bombay later that evening.
Normally, I always send out Christmas cards to everyone, but just didn’t feel up to it this year. As I’ve said before, the Christmas Spirit has eluded me this year for some strange reason. With that said, though, I wish each and every one of you a Merry Christmas and a joyous and prosperous New Year. 2010 has been an iffy year for me, and I’m hoping that 2011 is a lot better.
Happy Holidays, Ya’ll.
** Not the real name of the company I work for, but it fits nonetheless
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Fictional and Real
Maybe it’s only me, but it seems like there are times when some of the people in our lives start to resemble fictional characters. You look at someone or interact with that person, and a thought pops into your brain. “This person reminds me of (someone from a movie, book or TV show)”. It’s happened to me a couple of times recently, when my mind starts to wander and nothing is on TV worth watching.
Phoebe Buffay (from Friends) = Coworker
Beautiful, funny, but not very bright. She’s nice, but you wouldn’t want to discuss deep subjects with her, because you’ll lose her in about a nanosecond. Think a combination of Phoebe and Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. Ditzy but loveable nonetheless.
Moon (from the great Chinese movie Hero) = Coworker
Initially upon meeting her, you might think she’s a bit timid. Underneath it all, though, is a warrior waiting to come out when necessary. Like Moon, she’s beautiful in her own way; not breathtakingly beautiful but a beauty that is subtle. Quite easy to like her.
Jabba the Hut (Star Wars) = Coworker
Doesn’t have the criminal mind like Jabba, but looks a lot like him. Slovenly appearance, grossly overweight, almost greasy. Not someone a normal person likes to spend a lot of time with.
Sig Hansen (from The Deadliest Catch) = Friend
OK, Sig isn’t a fictional character, but my friend reminds me a lot of him. Totally focused on work, with a sense of humor that comes out in unpredictable but insanely amusing ways. Has “been there, done that” all over the world.
Dolores Umbridge (from Harry Potter) = Company HR Director
She gives off a vibe that says “The person in charge of the company is never, ever wrong”, much like the fictional Ms. Umbridge did in the Harry Potter movies when referring to the Minister of Magic. Like Umbridge, she’s also a colossal pain in the ass, writes a LOT of policies that are generally ignored or thought to be idiotic, and carries herself as if she is far better than everyone around her. She and the Executive Management Team are Purebloods, and the rest of us are either Mudbloods or, even worse, Muggles. Too bad we don’t have a centaur herd to introduce her to like Harry and Hermione did. Referred to around my office as “She Who Must Not Be Named”.
Young Obi Wan Kenobi (from the Star Wars prequels) = One of My Friends
Wise beyond his years. Knows a lot of shit and not afraid to share knowledge. Has a mischievous side that comes out on occasion. Needless to say, I love the guy to death.
The Sith Lord (Star Wars Episode III) = Company Executive
Evil down to his very core. Bizarre sense of humor about things that aren’t funny. Tries to convince people of shit that is dumb or makes no sense. Hated by many but doesn’t really care. Has his own agenda, and religiously sticks to that agenda.
Chandler Bing (from Friends)/Harry Potter = Me
I can relate a lot to Chandler. We’re both fucked up in our own way, married to women who are way too beautiful and way too good for us. Both of us like goofy shit. Harry and I both know that we are “the other thing”. We both have a close group of friends that we interact with and don’t stray far from those friends.
These are just some of the people in my life who share a close resemblance to some of the characters who have popped up in popular culture. I’m sure that we all know people who remind us of other people. Some of these revelations are funny; others are somewhat disturbing.
Phoebe Buffay (from Friends) = Coworker
Beautiful, funny, but not very bright. She’s nice, but you wouldn’t want to discuss deep subjects with her, because you’ll lose her in about a nanosecond. Think a combination of Phoebe and Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. Ditzy but loveable nonetheless.
Moon (from the great Chinese movie Hero) = Coworker
Initially upon meeting her, you might think she’s a bit timid. Underneath it all, though, is a warrior waiting to come out when necessary. Like Moon, she’s beautiful in her own way; not breathtakingly beautiful but a beauty that is subtle. Quite easy to like her.
Jabba the Hut (Star Wars) = Coworker
Doesn’t have the criminal mind like Jabba, but looks a lot like him. Slovenly appearance, grossly overweight, almost greasy. Not someone a normal person likes to spend a lot of time with.
Sig Hansen (from The Deadliest Catch) = Friend
OK, Sig isn’t a fictional character, but my friend reminds me a lot of him. Totally focused on work, with a sense of humor that comes out in unpredictable but insanely amusing ways. Has “been there, done that” all over the world.
Dolores Umbridge (from Harry Potter) = Company HR Director
She gives off a vibe that says “The person in charge of the company is never, ever wrong”, much like the fictional Ms. Umbridge did in the Harry Potter movies when referring to the Minister of Magic. Like Umbridge, she’s also a colossal pain in the ass, writes a LOT of policies that are generally ignored or thought to be idiotic, and carries herself as if she is far better than everyone around her. She and the Executive Management Team are Purebloods, and the rest of us are either Mudbloods or, even worse, Muggles. Too bad we don’t have a centaur herd to introduce her to like Harry and Hermione did. Referred to around my office as “She Who Must Not Be Named”.
Young Obi Wan Kenobi (from the Star Wars prequels) = One of My Friends
Wise beyond his years. Knows a lot of shit and not afraid to share knowledge. Has a mischievous side that comes out on occasion. Needless to say, I love the guy to death.
The Sith Lord (Star Wars Episode III) = Company Executive
Evil down to his very core. Bizarre sense of humor about things that aren’t funny. Tries to convince people of shit that is dumb or makes no sense. Hated by many but doesn’t really care. Has his own agenda, and religiously sticks to that agenda.
Chandler Bing (from Friends)/Harry Potter = Me
I can relate a lot to Chandler. We’re both fucked up in our own way, married to women who are way too beautiful and way too good for us. Both of us like goofy shit. Harry and I both know that we are “the other thing”. We both have a close group of friends that we interact with and don’t stray far from those friends.
These are just some of the people in my life who share a close resemblance to some of the characters who have popped up in popular culture. I’m sure that we all know people who remind us of other people. Some of these revelations are funny; others are somewhat disturbing.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
This That and Quite Possibly the Other Thing
“Hey goodbye all you punks, stay young and stay high, Hand me my checkbook as I crawl off to die, Like a woman in childbirth grown ugly in a flash, I’ve seen magic and pain now I’m recycling trash.”
The Who “They’re All In Love”
Notes, tidbits, and other garbage concerning work, life, and other varied gibberish.
Both the Gorgeous One and I are suffering the ill effects of aging recently. The wife is still bothered a lot by the pinched nerve in her neck and has been getting treatment with a chiropractor. I am suffering from what I call “Shit Just Hurts”. Knees, hips, and I’m having a weird problem with my left hand that is impacting my Quality of Life. Getting older sucks, but it beats hell out of the alternative.
= + =
As I reported in another blog that I have posted, our company has cancelled our annual Christmas get together. For me personally, it’s not a big deal because I never go to these things. Historically I look upon company gatherings in the same way I look at prostate cancer and penis surgery without anesthesia, meaning things I want nothing to do with. With that said, though, there are a lot of people in my company who actually look forward to these events. Get your eat on, have a few drinks, socialize with people in other departments, have a little fun.
The cancelling of the Christmas party has not stopped our Managers from scheduling their own little soiree at one of the local hotels (if you work for the company, you get one guess as to WHICH hotel). After working for the military for 26 years, I get that the leaders of an organization need to get together once in a while in a social setting away from the office. In the military, they call these things “Officers Call” or “Officers Dining Out”, and I agree that they are probably Good Things, even in a civilian setting. Where the leaders (OK in my company there are no leaders, only managers) get together and talk in a social setting about issues of the day. Maybe a few remarks about where we want to go in the future.
By cancelling the Christmas party, though, and going through with this little event, it sends an understated message to those people like myself, “in the trenches”, the ones with the dirt under their fingernails. That message is, “Screw you people. We, your Betters, are gonna have our fun. Oh, and by the way, don’t even DREAM about Christmas bonuses, because those won’t be happening this year, if ever.”
Even if that isn’t the intended message, it speaks volumes without actually saying a word.
= + =
In this day and age, a lot of company’s use email as a way to get information to their employees. I agree that it’s a wonderful tool for doing that, especially in organizations where weird hours and geography come into play. With that said, what do you call people who insist on doing “reply alls” to emails, even those that say “reply directly to me” in their content? The names I have for them are:
Retarded
Learning Disabled
Riders of the Short Bus
Egotistical Fornicators of Swine (because they feel that EVERYONE INVOLVED should know what their insignificant opinions are)
= + =
There are at least three people I know in my company who have received offer letters from other organizations in the past week. Sadly, most of them are really good at their jobs and are really good people. Two of them I love like brothers. While I am selfish when it comes to working with good people, I totally understand the fact that they are jumping. Hell, I wish I were in their shoes.
= + =
This apparently has been deemed The Week to Bleed for me. Three days in a row, something has happened at work that has caused me to lose blood. Monday it was my foot with a cut that basically ruined a pair of socks. Tuesday, the left index finger with a blister that popped and then started bleeding. Yesterday I accidently cut the tip of my right index finger, badly but not enough to require stitches, with the razor knife I carry on my belt to cut through cable insulation.
Yeah, it’s been one of Those Weeks.
The Who “They’re All In Love”
Notes, tidbits, and other garbage concerning work, life, and other varied gibberish.
Both the Gorgeous One and I are suffering the ill effects of aging recently. The wife is still bothered a lot by the pinched nerve in her neck and has been getting treatment with a chiropractor. I am suffering from what I call “Shit Just Hurts”. Knees, hips, and I’m having a weird problem with my left hand that is impacting my Quality of Life. Getting older sucks, but it beats hell out of the alternative.
= + =
As I reported in another blog that I have posted, our company has cancelled our annual Christmas get together. For me personally, it’s not a big deal because I never go to these things. Historically I look upon company gatherings in the same way I look at prostate cancer and penis surgery without anesthesia, meaning things I want nothing to do with. With that said, though, there are a lot of people in my company who actually look forward to these events. Get your eat on, have a few drinks, socialize with people in other departments, have a little fun.
The cancelling of the Christmas party has not stopped our Managers from scheduling their own little soiree at one of the local hotels (if you work for the company, you get one guess as to WHICH hotel). After working for the military for 26 years, I get that the leaders of an organization need to get together once in a while in a social setting away from the office. In the military, they call these things “Officers Call” or “Officers Dining Out”, and I agree that they are probably Good Things, even in a civilian setting. Where the leaders (OK in my company there are no leaders, only managers) get together and talk in a social setting about issues of the day. Maybe a few remarks about where we want to go in the future.
By cancelling the Christmas party, though, and going through with this little event, it sends an understated message to those people like myself, “in the trenches”, the ones with the dirt under their fingernails. That message is, “Screw you people. We, your Betters, are gonna have our fun. Oh, and by the way, don’t even DREAM about Christmas bonuses, because those won’t be happening this year, if ever.”
Even if that isn’t the intended message, it speaks volumes without actually saying a word.
= + =
In this day and age, a lot of company’s use email as a way to get information to their employees. I agree that it’s a wonderful tool for doing that, especially in organizations where weird hours and geography come into play. With that said, what do you call people who insist on doing “reply alls” to emails, even those that say “reply directly to me” in their content? The names I have for them are:
Retarded
Learning Disabled
Riders of the Short Bus
Egotistical Fornicators of Swine (because they feel that EVERYONE INVOLVED should know what their insignificant opinions are)
= + =
There are at least three people I know in my company who have received offer letters from other organizations in the past week. Sadly, most of them are really good at their jobs and are really good people. Two of them I love like brothers. While I am selfish when it comes to working with good people, I totally understand the fact that they are jumping. Hell, I wish I were in their shoes.
= + =
This apparently has been deemed The Week to Bleed for me. Three days in a row, something has happened at work that has caused me to lose blood. Monday it was my foot with a cut that basically ruined a pair of socks. Tuesday, the left index finger with a blister that popped and then started bleeding. Yesterday I accidently cut the tip of my right index finger, badly but not enough to require stitches, with the razor knife I carry on my belt to cut through cable insulation.
Yeah, it’s been one of Those Weeks.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Jobs Are Not Necessarily Professions
“Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy”
– Groucho Marx
There are people who would argue that there is no difference between what would be considered a “job” and a “profession”. I would tend to disagree with this argument.
A profession is something that someone throws themselves into lock, stock, and barrel. What they do for a living in many ways defines who they are as a person. There is a certain level of excitement and enthusiasm involved with having a profession. You live and breathe what you do, can’t wait for the next day to begin so you can engage in activities directly related to that profession.
On the other hand, a job is something that a person does to put food in their bellies and a roof over their heads. A job is often something that is soul-crushing. While we may as individuals be proud of what we do , the work we do doesn’t define who we are as individuals. It’s something that we must do in order to take care of the ones we love, to feed ourselves, and something we just have to do in order to get through life in one piece. Many people who have jobs hate what they have to do in order to survive, and if they had a real choice, would probably be doing something else.
In my adult life, I have had both jobs and professions. Ironically, I’ve had both with the current company I work for, all within the space of about four years.
When I first started, and for the first year or so I was excited about doing what I was doing. I worked with great people, great managers and leaders, and believed what I was doing had an impact on peoples lives. People would see the company logo emblazoned across my chest and back, and I was proud to wear that logo. People would ask me, “Are you with (that company name)?”and I would always proudly reply that, yes I am.
Now, when someone asks the question, say, when I’m standing in line to buy a cup of coffee, I cringe. Because I know what’s coming - the complaints. Bad craziness from people who think that if I talk to the guy from that company, shit will get fixed. There I am, relatively innocent, getting abused by a stranger for reasons I have zero control over.
Nope, I no longer have the same feelings as before. Now it’s a job and nothing more. The way I have at my disposal to pay my rent, put food in my wife’s stomach, pay my alimony. A lack of leadership and basic Managerial Cluelessness have caused my faith to wane, hard. Try as I might to focus on the positive and forget about the negative, I’m afraid that it just isn’t working.
– Groucho Marx
There are people who would argue that there is no difference between what would be considered a “job” and a “profession”. I would tend to disagree with this argument.
A profession is something that someone throws themselves into lock, stock, and barrel. What they do for a living in many ways defines who they are as a person. There is a certain level of excitement and enthusiasm involved with having a profession. You live and breathe what you do, can’t wait for the next day to begin so you can engage in activities directly related to that profession.
On the other hand, a job is something that a person does to put food in their bellies and a roof over their heads. A job is often something that is soul-crushing. While we may as individuals be proud of what we do , the work we do doesn’t define who we are as individuals. It’s something that we must do in order to take care of the ones we love, to feed ourselves, and something we just have to do in order to get through life in one piece. Many people who have jobs hate what they have to do in order to survive, and if they had a real choice, would probably be doing something else.
In my adult life, I have had both jobs and professions. Ironically, I’ve had both with the current company I work for, all within the space of about four years.
When I first started, and for the first year or so I was excited about doing what I was doing. I worked with great people, great managers and leaders, and believed what I was doing had an impact on peoples lives. People would see the company logo emblazoned across my chest and back, and I was proud to wear that logo. People would ask me, “Are you with (that company name)?”and I would always proudly reply that, yes I am.
Now, when someone asks the question, say, when I’m standing in line to buy a cup of coffee, I cringe. Because I know what’s coming - the complaints. Bad craziness from people who think that if I talk to the guy from that company, shit will get fixed. There I am, relatively innocent, getting abused by a stranger for reasons I have zero control over.
Nope, I no longer have the same feelings as before. Now it’s a job and nothing more. The way I have at my disposal to pay my rent, put food in my wife’s stomach, pay my alimony. A lack of leadership and basic Managerial Cluelessness have caused my faith to wane, hard. Try as I might to focus on the positive and forget about the negative, I’m afraid that it just isn’t working.
A lot of people I know are bailing out, leaving the sinking ship. Others are actively seeking other ways to pay for shit, and not all are by definition morally upright things. Still others have their resumes handy on their desktops and pounce on opportunities as they become available.
Kinda sad, really.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I'm Bringing It Back
Obscene language has changed over the years. What were one considered as “taboo”, “naughty”, “foul” or “dirty” words are in many instances a part of the cultural landscape now. Their use has evolved; they are used so much now that we just take them for granted.
The word “fuck” comes to immediately to mind in my head when it comes to words or phrases that have lost some of their power. With the advent of rap music and other pop culture twists, the word has lost a lot of its power as a “bad word”. While it’s still not a word that can easily be used in, say an office environment or the Vatican, out in the real world it’s used so much as to have lost a lot of its punch.
That’s why I’m bringing the use of the word “cunt” back.
In the book Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, the word is described as “a nasty name for a nasty thing” or “a very despicable person”. (Love that word, despicable). Someone horrible, rotten to the core, bad, unredeemable, nasty, terrible, hideous, atrocious.
It has mostly been used throughout the years as an offensive term used to describe the vagina. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve never used the word in that particular context. There are far better sounding words that can be used to describe the vagina, which truth be told is one of my favorite anatomical parts, and the one that gets most men in a whole lot of trouble.
Cunt used to be used in a lot of British comedy, such as Monty Python’s Flying Circus, and in many British sitcoms. While it was considered a bad thing to call someone, there was also a quaintness about it, along with a good bit of humor. Someone would call someone else “a silly cunt” and you would laugh about it.
These days, it’s considered by many to be worse than using the word fuck. Taboo. Forbidden. “The Word Not To Be Used” (taking a Harry Potter-Voldemort sort of spin against it). I think we the general public should exploit that badness, that awesome ugliness, and use it more. When speaking about a woman in a derogatory fashion, the word most often used is the word “bitch”, and it too has lost a lot of its punch and power over the years. Again, rap music had a hand in it through the use of phrases like “bitches and ho’s” but rap isn’t totally to blame. It’s a common word even on basic cable these days. Even sitcoms aired in prime time use the word.
“She’s just being bitchy”.
“She acted like a real bitch towards him.”
I am proposing that we all try to use the word cunt more in our daily speech, and not just when talking about a person who is evil or just plain wrong. No, I think we should use it to refer to anyone, male or female, who is stupid or evil or just an overall pain in the ass.
“That guy just cut me off in traffic. What a cunt that guy is.”
“Your boss is a real cunt.”
“John’s son just spit on me. He’s about a spoiled little cunt.”
See? There’s power in that little word. Power that tells the listener exactly how horrible the person being spoken about actually is. Very little ambiguity involved if you refer to someone in this way. Just the way the word sounds coming off of the tongue expresses distain. If said with enough menace behind it, there is even some evil that comes with it.
Language, like a lot of things, evolves over time. In the world of slang, I think it’s about time for cunt to make a comeback, so to speak. Use it in daily conversations, print it on t-shirts, in advertising.
“Yes, I Know I’m a Cunt”
“It’s Cuntilicious”
“Cunt-like behavior”
"Cuntageous"
The word “fuck” comes to immediately to mind in my head when it comes to words or phrases that have lost some of their power. With the advent of rap music and other pop culture twists, the word has lost a lot of its power as a “bad word”. While it’s still not a word that can easily be used in, say an office environment or the Vatican, out in the real world it’s used so much as to have lost a lot of its punch.
That’s why I’m bringing the use of the word “cunt” back.
In the book Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, the word is described as “a nasty name for a nasty thing” or “a very despicable person”. (Love that word, despicable). Someone horrible, rotten to the core, bad, unredeemable, nasty, terrible, hideous, atrocious.
It has mostly been used throughout the years as an offensive term used to describe the vagina. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve never used the word in that particular context. There are far better sounding words that can be used to describe the vagina, which truth be told is one of my favorite anatomical parts, and the one that gets most men in a whole lot of trouble.
Cunt used to be used in a lot of British comedy, such as Monty Python’s Flying Circus, and in many British sitcoms. While it was considered a bad thing to call someone, there was also a quaintness about it, along with a good bit of humor. Someone would call someone else “a silly cunt” and you would laugh about it.
These days, it’s considered by many to be worse than using the word fuck. Taboo. Forbidden. “The Word Not To Be Used” (taking a Harry Potter-Voldemort sort of spin against it). I think we the general public should exploit that badness, that awesome ugliness, and use it more. When speaking about a woman in a derogatory fashion, the word most often used is the word “bitch”, and it too has lost a lot of its punch and power over the years. Again, rap music had a hand in it through the use of phrases like “bitches and ho’s” but rap isn’t totally to blame. It’s a common word even on basic cable these days. Even sitcoms aired in prime time use the word.
“She’s just being bitchy”.
“She acted like a real bitch towards him.”
I am proposing that we all try to use the word cunt more in our daily speech, and not just when talking about a person who is evil or just plain wrong. No, I think we should use it to refer to anyone, male or female, who is stupid or evil or just an overall pain in the ass.
“That guy just cut me off in traffic. What a cunt that guy is.”
“Your boss is a real cunt.”
“John’s son just spit on me. He’s about a spoiled little cunt.”
See? There’s power in that little word. Power that tells the listener exactly how horrible the person being spoken about actually is. Very little ambiguity involved if you refer to someone in this way. Just the way the word sounds coming off of the tongue expresses distain. If said with enough menace behind it, there is even some evil that comes with it.
Language, like a lot of things, evolves over time. In the world of slang, I think it’s about time for cunt to make a comeback, so to speak. Use it in daily conversations, print it on t-shirts, in advertising.
“Yes, I Know I’m a Cunt”
“It’s Cuntilicious”
“Cunt-like behavior”
"Cuntageous"
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Some Things Never Change
Well, kidlings, it’s that most wonderful time of the year again. The Christmas spirit is already in the air, people are gearing up for the holiday season, making plans to see loved ones and overeat. Overspend and max out your credit cards buying shit that will be forgotten about two hours after the wrapping has been removed. I know that sounds kind of harsh, but for me I haven’t felt very Christmas-y since my daughter was living at home. It just doesn’t feel the same as when you have kids in your house as when you are by yourself.
It is also time for Christmas parties within the various workplaces, which is the subject of this little story.
I thought, after last year’s debacle with Mandatory Fun for our company Christmas party that our company would have learned. For a while, I thought that they did. All of us were informed well in advance that there would be a Christmas party at a nice hotel, and I was actually planning on attending said function.
My company had made reservations well in advance for the hotel and plonked down a huge deposit for the hall and the food. They had a committee of employees put together to plan it all out, and from what I heard from the sidelines, they actually had their collective shit together. Like I said, I was actually looking forward to attending this event, and if you know anything at all about me, that’s a rare thing. I generally HATE company gatherings, other than the one we do to raise money for cancer.
Alas, it is not to be. The employees were informed earlier this week that the Christmas party had been cancelled. Apparently, the cancellation took place for a couple of reasons, although none of them were made known to the general employee population. The information I got came from sources that were involved in the actual planning of the festivities.
The first was that it was scheduled for a Saturday night, and some of the Upper Management decided, at the last minute, that people might actually consume alcoholic adult beverages if an event were held on a Saturday night. Since that was a distinct possibility, it’s a good enough reason to cancel the event. Really? You mean, grown adult people who are above the Legal Drinking Age might decide that having a couple of belts with their coworkers would be a good way to have a little fun? Say it isn’t so! People might want to drink a couple of drinks, tell funny stories about things that happen at work, and actually have a good time? Perish the thought, we can’t have that.
The second reason that I heard directly from a member o f the committee was that there is a meeting that will be happening amongst the big-wigs during the week leading up to the party. It was felt by a member of Senior Management that after that week of meetings, that none of the managers involved in said meetings would be in the Holiday Spirit. So, because the managers would be down in the mouth, the employee Christmas party was also cancelled. Because, if the managers were in a foul mood, then the employees certainly don’t deserve a little party paid for by the company, to show the company’s appreciation for all of their hard work during the year. No no, can’t have that.
Now I know a couple of the people who sat on this little planning committee, and I know for a fact that they had nothing to do with the party being cancelled. No, it was one member of Senior Staff who made these decisions. Basically told the committee members, “Thanks for your great ideas, but we’re cancelling it anyway. Too bad, tough shit. Oh, and by the way, don’t even think about Christmas bonuses”
What does all of this say to the employees? Pretty simple actually. It says, right out loud in front of God and everyone, that the company simply doesn’t appreciate its employees. Doesn’t give a shit about them.
It is also time for Christmas parties within the various workplaces, which is the subject of this little story.
I thought, after last year’s debacle with Mandatory Fun for our company Christmas party that our company would have learned. For a while, I thought that they did. All of us were informed well in advance that there would be a Christmas party at a nice hotel, and I was actually planning on attending said function.
My company had made reservations well in advance for the hotel and plonked down a huge deposit for the hall and the food. They had a committee of employees put together to plan it all out, and from what I heard from the sidelines, they actually had their collective shit together. Like I said, I was actually looking forward to attending this event, and if you know anything at all about me, that’s a rare thing. I generally HATE company gatherings, other than the one we do to raise money for cancer.
Alas, it is not to be. The employees were informed earlier this week that the Christmas party had been cancelled. Apparently, the cancellation took place for a couple of reasons, although none of them were made known to the general employee population. The information I got came from sources that were involved in the actual planning of the festivities.
The first was that it was scheduled for a Saturday night, and some of the Upper Management decided, at the last minute, that people might actually consume alcoholic adult beverages if an event were held on a Saturday night. Since that was a distinct possibility, it’s a good enough reason to cancel the event. Really? You mean, grown adult people who are above the Legal Drinking Age might decide that having a couple of belts with their coworkers would be a good way to have a little fun? Say it isn’t so! People might want to drink a couple of drinks, tell funny stories about things that happen at work, and actually have a good time? Perish the thought, we can’t have that.
The second reason that I heard directly from a member o f the committee was that there is a meeting that will be happening amongst the big-wigs during the week leading up to the party. It was felt by a member of Senior Management that after that week of meetings, that none of the managers involved in said meetings would be in the Holiday Spirit. So, because the managers would be down in the mouth, the employee Christmas party was also cancelled. Because, if the managers were in a foul mood, then the employees certainly don’t deserve a little party paid for by the company, to show the company’s appreciation for all of their hard work during the year. No no, can’t have that.
Now I know a couple of the people who sat on this little planning committee, and I know for a fact that they had nothing to do with the party being cancelled. No, it was one member of Senior Staff who made these decisions. Basically told the committee members, “Thanks for your great ideas, but we’re cancelling it anyway. Too bad, tough shit. Oh, and by the way, don’t even think about Christmas bonuses”
What does all of this say to the employees? Pretty simple actually. It says, right out loud in front of God and everyone, that the company simply doesn’t appreciate its employees. Doesn’t give a shit about them.
Another odd thing about all of this is that all of the Senior Managers have been silent about it. No emails saying why it was cancelled. No explanations. Nothing. “Hello down there to all you pissants and worker bees. Just to let you know, we were gonna have a Christmas party, but we cancelled it. All of the managers will be bummed out, and we’re afraid that some of you might have one too many and really tell us what you think. As if we really cared what you drones and peasants actually think about anything. Also, forget about Christmas bonuses. The word “bonus” is hereby banned from the corporate vocabulary unless you are a member of Senior Staff of course. Keep working hard and making money for the stockholders.”
If it says anything at all, it just shows how out of touch with reality and the work force the management team is where I work at. They pay lip service to actually caring about the employees, when in fact we the employees know that they don’t.
One of the funniest things about this whole situation has to do with the facility that we were going to have the party at. Apparently, the Senior Staff member who was behind the cancellation actually got pissed off when the hotel told said Senior Staff person that, because the company cancelled at such a late date, you don’t get your rather significant deposit back. Nope, not one cent. This I find very amusing, but then again, whenever this particular member of Senior Staff gets screwed over, I find it amusing. In fact, hilarious.
So, because our Senior Management hasn’t felt the need to do so, I am providing the official Christmas Message to all my fellow employees:
“Work Harder, You Bastards. Christmas is Cancelled. Fuck Off and Die, but Do So on Your Own Time”
The most wonderful time of the year, indeed. I feel warm all over.
Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
I freely admit it; I’m a Harry Potter geek. This series of books has to rank up there as one of the best told stories in literature. Some would write it off as “kid’s literature”, but these are the same people who have never read the books. Not only is the story a riveting one, it’s also well told. J.K. Rowling just has a style that pulls you in and never lets go. The books are insanely good, and the movies that have come out of the books have been done really well up till now. At 47 years of age, I am unashamedly a fan of both.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 opened in theaters last Friday night, and I was fortunate enough to get two free tickets to attend. Since The Gorgeous One (my bride) isn’t into HP or the cinema in general, she let me to go and see it without her. That’s probably a good thing, since it probably wouldn’t have done her any good mentally to see her 47 year old husband go totally geek.
Going in to the movie, I already knew why they made two movies out of the last book in the series. The fact is that within Deathly Hallows, J. K. Rowling covered a lot of ground in the story of Harry and Co. I also knew that even with splitting the book into two movies, some scenes would be cut back drastically to only show the critical plot points.
The opening of the movie is quite somber, as the main characters get ready to start on the quest for the horcruxes. Harry says goodbye to the Dursleys, and reminisces about what life has been like in that house when he revisits the little space underneath the stairway where he used to sleep. The scene where Hermione wipes her parent’s memory of her existence kind of sets the stage for this darkest in the Harry Potter series, In the book she only explains it, but actually seeing it was really sad. Voldemort and his followers gathered around a large table is also quite menacing and just felt more menacing on the screen than it did in the book. It’s a dark opening because it’s a dark book, as war is just around the corner.
The filmmakers did a good job putting all of the pieces of this very complicated story together into something cohesive. There is a lot of ground to cover, and they could not have covered it any better, unless they were planning on making two 4 hour movies.
To be honest, while I understood why they did it, the shrinking of some of the events in the movie kind of made them lose some of the weight that they had in the book. For example, in the book, Harry, Ron and Hermione are stuck in Sirius’s house after the wedding for a long time trying to decide what they are going to do. In the movie, they made it seem like a couple of days at most. The same goes for their time jumping around from place to place in hiding. The scene where the main characters escape from the Malfoy house wasn’t nearly what I thought it was when reading it off the written page, and again seemed a lot briefer in the movie than it was in the book.
But these are minor complaints at best. Visually, the movie is really well put together, with more of the incredible special effects we have come to expect in the series. The fight to get Harry to the Weasley house; the search in the Ministry of Magic for the locket of Slytherin; all of them. The effects were so good that I actually jumped in my seat during the scene in Godrick’s Hollow where Harry is fighting Nagini. This is spite of the fact that I KNEW what was going to happen, having read the book. The colors and the scenes just seemed to pop out of the screen, as it they had been fine tuned.
Part 1 ends with the death of Dobby and the acquisition of the Elder Wand by Voldemort, which I thought was probably the best place to end the first part of the story. All in all, I was really happy with what I saw, and can’t wait to see Part 2. I want to see how they handle the battle scene at the end, and the epilogue especially. If you haven't read the books or seen any of the movies, don't waste your time going. You won't understand anything that happens because you don't have anything to base it on. If you haven’t seen the flick yet, take thyself to your local metroplex forthwith and plonk down your hard earned and be prepared to be entertained for a couple of hours. You won’t be disappointed.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 opened in theaters last Friday night, and I was fortunate enough to get two free tickets to attend. Since The Gorgeous One (my bride) isn’t into HP or the cinema in general, she let me to go and see it without her. That’s probably a good thing, since it probably wouldn’t have done her any good mentally to see her 47 year old husband go totally geek.
Going in to the movie, I already knew why they made two movies out of the last book in the series. The fact is that within Deathly Hallows, J. K. Rowling covered a lot of ground in the story of Harry and Co. I also knew that even with splitting the book into two movies, some scenes would be cut back drastically to only show the critical plot points.
The opening of the movie is quite somber, as the main characters get ready to start on the quest for the horcruxes. Harry says goodbye to the Dursleys, and reminisces about what life has been like in that house when he revisits the little space underneath the stairway where he used to sleep. The scene where Hermione wipes her parent’s memory of her existence kind of sets the stage for this darkest in the Harry Potter series, In the book she only explains it, but actually seeing it was really sad. Voldemort and his followers gathered around a large table is also quite menacing and just felt more menacing on the screen than it did in the book. It’s a dark opening because it’s a dark book, as war is just around the corner.
The filmmakers did a good job putting all of the pieces of this very complicated story together into something cohesive. There is a lot of ground to cover, and they could not have covered it any better, unless they were planning on making two 4 hour movies.
To be honest, while I understood why they did it, the shrinking of some of the events in the movie kind of made them lose some of the weight that they had in the book. For example, in the book, Harry, Ron and Hermione are stuck in Sirius’s house after the wedding for a long time trying to decide what they are going to do. In the movie, they made it seem like a couple of days at most. The same goes for their time jumping around from place to place in hiding. The scene where the main characters escape from the Malfoy house wasn’t nearly what I thought it was when reading it off the written page, and again seemed a lot briefer in the movie than it was in the book.
But these are minor complaints at best. Visually, the movie is really well put together, with more of the incredible special effects we have come to expect in the series. The fight to get Harry to the Weasley house; the search in the Ministry of Magic for the locket of Slytherin; all of them. The effects were so good that I actually jumped in my seat during the scene in Godrick’s Hollow where Harry is fighting Nagini. This is spite of the fact that I KNEW what was going to happen, having read the book. The colors and the scenes just seemed to pop out of the screen, as it they had been fine tuned.
Part 1 ends with the death of Dobby and the acquisition of the Elder Wand by Voldemort, which I thought was probably the best place to end the first part of the story. All in all, I was really happy with what I saw, and can’t wait to see Part 2. I want to see how they handle the battle scene at the end, and the epilogue especially. If you haven't read the books or seen any of the movies, don't waste your time going. You won't understand anything that happens because you don't have anything to base it on. If you haven’t seen the flick yet, take thyself to your local metroplex forthwith and plonk down your hard earned and be prepared to be entertained for a couple of hours. You won’t be disappointed.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Personal Rules and Idiot Updatage
“When I'm sittin on a toilet, in a house that I dont know,Looking all around me where the toilet paper goes,
Feeling real uneasy, feeling real uncertain,
Cause I gotta wipe my butt again,
With the shower curtain,
Its those little thangs, those little itty bitty thangs,
Its those little things like that, that piss me off”
Rodney Carrington – It’s Those Little Things that Piss Me Off
I’m trying to impose some new rules on myself at work. It’s not that I’ve done anything wrong my own self. No, these rules, if I follow them, will probably help me keep some of my sanity intact, and help keep my blood pressure down a little bit.
This is what I’m gonna try to do starting today:
+ Say as little as humanly possible to coworkers except for my closest friends. Keep it short, sweet, and to the point.
+ Severely limit all interaction with managers/supervisors/executive management weasels. Most of the people I work for have their own particular agendas that are evil, stupid and just plain Wrong, and it’s getting really hard to not get in their faces.
+ Avoid corporate headquarters (also known as “The Death Star” or “The House that Fellatio Built”). I used to love going over there and casually flirting with some of the women that work over there and making a few people laugh along the way. I do have some friends that work in that building, people I really like as friends and coworkers, but sadly, there is just too much other bullshit to deal with when I go over there. That and the fact that every time I leave that building, I feel the sudden urge to get a shower and maybe a tetanus shot.
+ Spend more time at outlying communications facilities that I am responsible for and less time at my office. By doing that, there is less chance that I will lose my temper when I observe idiotic behavior, and it will also allow me to avoid certain people better.
If I’m able to do all of the above or even most of them, I think the chances that I will continue to go home pissed off will greatly diminish.
=+=+=
The two butt-lickers that work in my office are at it again. One of them is clapped up with the Death Flu, and rather than stay his morbidly obese ass home and recover, he comes to work and spreads his filthy disease amongst everyone. It’s a known fact that people who work in close quarters spread diseases amongst themselves, which is a fact that Dickless has not learned yet. The guy doesn’t even have the common decency to cover his mouth when he coughs, and he coughs a LOT. The other one just pisses me off by walking in the room. He and I don’t talk to each other at all unless absolutely necessary, even for the sake of basic human politeness. I don’t think he’s figured it out yet that everyone who works with him feels that he’s utterly useless and is only keeping his job because he is someone in managements bitch. He’s an idiot who has his own delusions of grandeur.
=+=+=
Both of the women in my life are having health issues, and both of them have me worried. The Awesome Daughter just had a CT scan done to try to find out what the hell is wrong with her ear, which has been causing her a lot of grief lately. The Gorgeous One (a.k.a. The Wife) is still dealing with a pinched nerve issue in her neck that is driving her crazy. To top that off, I’m having a few health issues of my own that I will be going to go see a doctor about. Numbness in ring and pinkie fingers on my left hand that for no apparent reason. Rashes that come and go along with itching that only popping Zyrtec helps with. I’ll make an appointment to see my curmudgeon of a doctor next week and see if he can find out what the hell is wrong with me.
=+=+=
The movie I have been waiting all year for is finally coming out tomorrow, and I’m real excited about it. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 hits the theaters, and I really want to go see it. The wife probably won’t want to go because she’s not into HP, but I’m gonna go. My company is giving away 10 sets of tickets in a raffle, and maybe I can even go for free.
=+=+=
That is All Ye Know and All Ye Need to Know, for now anyway.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)