If we’re fortunate, we have them. A group of friends who mean so much to you that you would literally give them the shirt off of your back if they asked for it. Those special people who you would, if necessary, find bail money for at 2 AM if they needed it. Or, simply just being that set of ears that is willing to listen to you when you feel the need to get something off of your chest. I’m fortunate in that I have three such friends, who I happen to work with. Three people I would literally be willing to commit felonies for if they asked me to. Guys I would give my last two dollars to if they needed it.
There is some common ground among this group of men. All three have two kids, both a boy and a girl. Like me, two of the three are on their second marriages. We’re all married to Filipinas. All of us have many years experience working in the communications bidness. All of us have senses of humor that are just a little bit skewed from what most people would call “normal”.
Henry* is the one that is closest in age to me. We have both “stomped the terra” and I usually start my workday sitting with him in his office, sharing some coffee and a generous helping of bullshit. He runs a successful construction bidness when he’s not working his day job, and at times he’s thrown some work at me when I needed money, even though I am massively unqualified to do any type of construction work.
I’ve already probably committed a few misdemeanors for him, and I’m sure he has probably done the same. One of my closest friends on Guam and reminds me a lot of my late friend Jim McDonald. A dirty-minded middle aged guy in the grand tradition of dirty-minded middle aged guys.
Chris* has been in the cellular bidness for a long time. He’s traveled the world more than a little bit, tells great stories, and has forgotten more about the bidness than a lot of other people will ever know. Originally from the northern Midwest. Knows how to separate the wheat from the chaff and has a low tolerance for bullshit, the kind of person I just naturally tend to lean towards. Chris never lets the little shit upset him, and has always given me great advice when I’ve sought it. He’s also a smoker, which gives us both the opportunity to bounce wild-assed ideas off of each other to see if they pass the “makes sense” test.
James* is, for lack of a better word, a genius. One of the smartest people I have ever known, even though he has had very little in the way of formal training. One of those guys who will pick up a book, get the basics about a piece of equipment, then tear it apart learning everything there is to know about it until he’s an expert. He also has a similar sense of humor to mine, and unlike me, rarely if ever loses his temper. James is always willing to answer my questions, however mundane or stupid, and I’ve learned a lot from the guy and enjoy just hanging out with him. He regularly cracks me up, coming up with angles I find amusing. He was my co-conspirator in trying to find The Kid (a young and gifted Korean guy we work with) a girlfriend or at least a sex partner, and get him away from the computer screen. Needless to say, I enjoy his company immensely.
Yep, these are the guys I run with, the ones I’m closest to, the ones I’ll do almost anything they could ask me to do. My loyalty to them is total and complete, and if anyone messes with them then they have me to deal with as well. There is an old saying that says something along the lines of “a man is blessed if he has one good friend”. There’s no doubt about it that I’m blessed three times over.
*Names changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
A Visit With Mr. Language Person
It’s no secret that the English language fascinates me. Both proper English and slang are great tools for getting a point across to other people that we have to deal with daily. Some words don’t get used very often or have gone out of fashion, while others are just phrases that people have made up that I get a huge kick out of.
REE-TARD
An accurate description of 98% of the people operating motor vehicles on Guam, and a word that I use quite often while driving. As in “Hey ree-tard, think you’re gonna find second gear sometime today?”
RECKLESS ABANDON
Easily one of my favorite phrases. It means “to plunge head long into a situation without considering the options or consequences”. To follow that inner voice that just says “do it, go for it” and not thinking about what will happen. I think we all need those times when we can just let go, do something with reckless abandon and see what happens. Follow your heart, and to hell with what the brain is saying.
PLETHORA
Overabundance or excess. A whole bunch. A shit-load. More than a lot. A word that just rolls off the tongue so easily.
ROGUE
No, not the SUV produced by Nissan. A rogue is someone or some thing that is “no longer obedient, belonging, or accepted and hence not controllable or answerable” or “a playfully mischievous person”. Roll the R when you say it like they do in bad British dramas that usually come on late-night TV. A rogue is someone who plays mostly by his or her own rules, independent, defiant. Does what he wants, when he wants, and if anyone gets upset, tough shit.
SCALLYWAG
The dictionary defines this as someone who is a scamp or a rascal. In other words, an asshole, albeit a loveable asshole. It’s very rarely used today, but such a fun word. I was rereading a book the other night about one of the guys who jumped into Normandy during WW II, and he referred to one of his friends as a scallywag. Just sounds cool.
HEFFALUMP
The word was originally used in a Dr. Seuss book and subsequent TV special. My own personal use for the word is to describe any woman who weighs over 300 pounds. Here on Guam, the heffalump can normally be observed in one of two places. The first is riding in the back of a pickup truck, usually with her back against the tailgate (probably easier for the forklift to load her that way). The second is standing in line in the grocery store, paying for her groceries with food stamps and accompanied by 5-9 small children. In spite of their girth, heffalumps get laid a lot and apparently are very fertile.
CUSTOMER CARE
This is actually the name of one of the divisions where I work. It is also an oxymoron. A phrase that doesn’t really make sense or just doesn’t work, like the phrases “slightly pregnant” or “minor emergency”.
GIBBERISH
The word that I usually use when describing my blogs or other writing. I think I started using it more a couple of years ago when I started rereading some of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson’s books, because he used to use it a lot. It means “utter bullshit” with little or no intrinsic value. Ergo, a “plethora of gibberish” would be “a bunch of useless bullshit”.
PISS ON THE FIRE AND CALL THE DOGS
I use this particular phrase when I get frustrated with someone who can’t make a decision about something, or when action is required. I believe it was originally intended to be used when you’re out hunting. My dad used to use it a lot.
REFRESHING CIGARETTE
My friend Lauren used to say this all the time when she still worked with me (and still smoked) and it was just sounded so cool. When you’re stressed out, a cigarette can indeed be refreshing.
Some of these phrases you may have forgotten about, some may not work for you, but some are just cool and timeless. So, try to use them sometime and see what happens.
More later. Have to go deal with the plethora of scallywags and rogues I work with.
REE-TARD
An accurate description of 98% of the people operating motor vehicles on Guam, and a word that I use quite often while driving. As in “Hey ree-tard, think you’re gonna find second gear sometime today?”
RECKLESS ABANDON
Easily one of my favorite phrases. It means “to plunge head long into a situation without considering the options or consequences”. To follow that inner voice that just says “do it, go for it” and not thinking about what will happen. I think we all need those times when we can just let go, do something with reckless abandon and see what happens. Follow your heart, and to hell with what the brain is saying.
PLETHORA
Overabundance or excess. A whole bunch. A shit-load. More than a lot. A word that just rolls off the tongue so easily.
ROGUE
No, not the SUV produced by Nissan. A rogue is someone or some thing that is “no longer obedient, belonging, or accepted and hence not controllable or answerable” or “a playfully mischievous person”. Roll the R when you say it like they do in bad British dramas that usually come on late-night TV. A rogue is someone who plays mostly by his or her own rules, independent, defiant. Does what he wants, when he wants, and if anyone gets upset, tough shit.
SCALLYWAG
The dictionary defines this as someone who is a scamp or a rascal. In other words, an asshole, albeit a loveable asshole. It’s very rarely used today, but such a fun word. I was rereading a book the other night about one of the guys who jumped into Normandy during WW II, and he referred to one of his friends as a scallywag. Just sounds cool.
HEFFALUMP
The word was originally used in a Dr. Seuss book and subsequent TV special. My own personal use for the word is to describe any woman who weighs over 300 pounds. Here on Guam, the heffalump can normally be observed in one of two places. The first is riding in the back of a pickup truck, usually with her back against the tailgate (probably easier for the forklift to load her that way). The second is standing in line in the grocery store, paying for her groceries with food stamps and accompanied by 5-9 small children. In spite of their girth, heffalumps get laid a lot and apparently are very fertile.
CUSTOMER CARE
This is actually the name of one of the divisions where I work. It is also an oxymoron. A phrase that doesn’t really make sense or just doesn’t work, like the phrases “slightly pregnant” or “minor emergency”.
GIBBERISH
The word that I usually use when describing my blogs or other writing. I think I started using it more a couple of years ago when I started rereading some of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson’s books, because he used to use it a lot. It means “utter bullshit” with little or no intrinsic value. Ergo, a “plethora of gibberish” would be “a bunch of useless bullshit”.
PISS ON THE FIRE AND CALL THE DOGS
I use this particular phrase when I get frustrated with someone who can’t make a decision about something, or when action is required. I believe it was originally intended to be used when you’re out hunting. My dad used to use it a lot.
REFRESHING CIGARETTE
My friend Lauren used to say this all the time when she still worked with me (and still smoked) and it was just sounded so cool. When you’re stressed out, a cigarette can indeed be refreshing.
Some of these phrases you may have forgotten about, some may not work for you, but some are just cool and timeless. So, try to use them sometime and see what happens.
More later. Have to go deal with the plethora of scallywags and rogues I work with.
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