It’s no secret that the English language fascinates me. Both proper English and slang are great tools for getting a point across to other people that we have to deal with daily. Some words don’t get used very often or have gone out of fashion, while others are just phrases that people have made up that I get a huge kick out of.
REE-TARD
An accurate description of 98% of the people operating motor vehicles on Guam, and a word that I use quite often while driving. As in “Hey ree-tard, think you’re gonna find second gear sometime today?”
RECKLESS ABANDON
Easily one of my favorite phrases. It means “to plunge head long into a situation without considering the options or consequences”. To follow that inner voice that just says “do it, go for it” and not thinking about what will happen. I think we all need those times when we can just let go, do something with reckless abandon and see what happens. Follow your heart, and to hell with what the brain is saying.
PLETHORA
Overabundance or excess. A whole bunch. A shit-load. More than a lot. A word that just rolls off the tongue so easily.
ROGUE
No, not the SUV produced by Nissan. A rogue is someone or some thing that is “no longer obedient, belonging, or accepted and hence not controllable or answerable” or “a playfully mischievous person”. Roll the R when you say it like they do in bad British dramas that usually come on late-night TV. A rogue is someone who plays mostly by his or her own rules, independent, defiant. Does what he wants, when he wants, and if anyone gets upset, tough shit.
SCALLYWAG
The dictionary defines this as someone who is a scamp or a rascal. In other words, an asshole, albeit a loveable asshole. It’s very rarely used today, but such a fun word. I was rereading a book the other night about one of the guys who jumped into Normandy during WW II, and he referred to one of his friends as a scallywag. Just sounds cool.
HEFFALUMP
The word was originally used in a Dr. Seuss book and subsequent TV special. My own personal use for the word is to describe any woman who weighs over 300 pounds. Here on Guam, the heffalump can normally be observed in one of two places. The first is riding in the back of a pickup truck, usually with her back against the tailgate (probably easier for the forklift to load her that way). The second is standing in line in the grocery store, paying for her groceries with food stamps and accompanied by 5-9 small children. In spite of their girth, heffalumps get laid a lot and apparently are very fertile.
CUSTOMER CARE
This is actually the name of one of the divisions where I work. It is also an oxymoron. A phrase that doesn’t really make sense or just doesn’t work, like the phrases “slightly pregnant” or “minor emergency”.
GIBBERISH
The word that I usually use when describing my blogs or other writing. I think I started using it more a couple of years ago when I started rereading some of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson’s books, because he used to use it a lot. It means “utter bullshit” with little or no intrinsic value. Ergo, a “plethora of gibberish” would be “a bunch of useless bullshit”.
PISS ON THE FIRE AND CALL THE DOGS
I use this particular phrase when I get frustrated with someone who can’t make a decision about something, or when action is required. I believe it was originally intended to be used when you’re out hunting. My dad used to use it a lot.
REFRESHING CIGARETTE
My friend Lauren used to say this all the time when she still worked with me (and still smoked) and it was just sounded so cool. When you’re stressed out, a cigarette can indeed be refreshing.
Some of these phrases you may have forgotten about, some may not work for you, but some are just cool and timeless. So, try to use them sometime and see what happens.
More later. Have to go deal with the plethora of scallywags and rogues I work with.
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