Every month, Esquire Magazine runs a column called “What I’ve Learned”, where they interview a celebrity who tells what he or she has learned through some of their life experiences. After a little bit of introspection, I came up with my own list of “What I’ve Learned”.
When you stop learning, you start dying.
There is no sweeter sound on the planet than hearing your child laugh.
Humanity, taken as a whole, sucks. Individual human beings, on the other hand, can have profoundly great moments.
There are those moments, like when I’m sitting on a beach alone and just staring out at the ocean where I feel totally at peace with the world. Every other time of the day borders on chaos.
In two attempts, I’ve learned that I basically suck at marriage.
“Won’t Get Fooled Again” by the Who is my theme song. I have listened to it at least once a day for the last 27 years and never, ever get tired of it. Forget Lennon-McCartney; Pete Townshend is a genius.
I love women. I don’t understand them at all, but I still find them fascinating.
Sometimes, I really don’t want to think.
I have a low tolerance for boredom. On the other hand, it takes very little to amuse me.
The whole concept of large expensive funerals seems to be stupid to me. When I trip the mortal coil, I’ve told my wife to just burn my body and dump the ashes in the ocean. Then take some money, buy some booze, invite all my friends and relatives to get together and have a party and tell lies about me. It won’t matter to me; I’ll be dead.
Some people don’t like being crazy busy at work. I seem to thrive on it, love the excitement of it, the flow of adrenalin when everything is going wrong, everyone is freaking out, and I have to figure out how to fix it. Makes you feel vibrant, alive.
Being a parent is the toughest job a person could ever have. It’s also the most fun. Nothing else comes remotely close.
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