Notes From The Guam Desk

Thoughts and observations on the human condition as seen from The Guam Desk…………..

-We all have those days at work that we really don’t feel like doing anything productive. We’re still going to draw a paycheck, but we’re going to do as little as possible if we can get away with it. There are also those days when you go to work and really feel productive, feel like you want to accomplish something, make a difference, actually earn your money. Today was one of the latter for me.

Even though I worked most of Sunday, I went to work this morning with the mindset that I wanted to get shit done. It turns out that I did get a lot accomplished today, and by the time I drove home, I felt really good about myself. I can look at that face in the mirror knowing that I put forth my best effort in everything I tried to do. Progress was made, projects got completed, problems got solved. I feel almost justified, and if my bosses don’t appreciate the effort, then that’s their problem.

-I walked into a conversation the other day where one of my male coworkers was talking about his “inner female voice”. This got me thinking that maybe I my own self have an inner female voice. The problem is that I can’t really hear her because she’s a nymphomaniac lesbian.

-There are two truths to anyone who lives on Guam and drives a Lexus SUV on a regular basis. Truth #1 is that they have some serious coin to purchase and then fill with gas one of these beasts. Truth #2 is that every single person who operates said vehicle will invariably drive it like a retard on downers. If you happen to be driving on this fair island and get stuck behind one, a word of advice: change lanes immediately. In fact, you may want to consider taking an alternate route to save yourself some frustration.

-Every once in a while, I start to gain more faith in humanity as a whole. Someone will do something that is unexpected in a good way, and I’ll start to think that maybe my cynicism might not be justifiable. Just as soon as this happens, however, someone will come along and ruthlessly crush said faith.

-A lot of people get sucked into this thing called “March Madness”, also known as the NCAA Basketball Tournament. A lot of them are sucked in because they have made more than a few wagers on this tournament. I personally don’t enjoy watching basketball at any level, so I pretty much ignore ESPN unless it’s hockey related, which is rare.

-Homemade spaghetti can be a wonderful thing. I made a big pot of it last night, and even took some with me to work today for lunch. It’s invariably better the second day than it is when you first make it. My problem is that I always make too much, and I’m sure that by the time Thursday rolls around and I’m still looking at a big bowlful of the stuff, I will be sick of it.

For now, in the words of the late Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, that is all ye know and all ye need to know.