Monday, July 26, 2010

Time once again for a large heaping dose of my personal gibberish, sponsored by Marlboro and Maxwell House Coffee.

+ = +

My vote for “Biggest Asshole in Media” has once again swung. For a long time, I believed that Sarah Palin was one of the most irritating people to ever draw breath. No more, kidlings. Now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Glenn Beck has now replaced Sarah Palin as far as levels of assholish behavior are concerned. At least with Palin, I could always go to my sexist side and think, “Well, she’s a retarded bitch, but I would still have sex with her if I had a chance.” With Beck, there are no options, no “He’s an asshole but he does have this one redeeming quality, so I’ll let him slide.” I would personally love to see Beck get his ass kicked on national television. Now that’s reality TV at its finest.

= + =

Recently on my Facebook page, I posted links to two videos of two bands doing the same exact song. The first was a video of U2 doing a cover of “Won’t Get Fooled Again”, which I followed with a video of The Who doing the exact same song. There are very few, if any, bands that can surpass the original when it comes to great rock compositions, and this comparison is a case in point. Other than The Edge, who is a great and sorely underrated guitarist, the U2 cover blew chunks. I personally thought that Bono should have had the shit kicked out of him for the travesty he made of the song. The rest of the band seemed to be phoning it in as well. The bottom line is this for bands who wish to cover rock and roll classics; make an effort when doing so or don’t even attempt it.

+ = +

This is from the “What Goes Around, Comes Around” Department. For years, I used to punk on people who were addicted to their smart cellular phones. Used to make smart-assed remarks about them, give them a lot of shit when I would see them hunkered down around their phone doing things. I even made comments like “I would only want one of those things if it gave me hot coffee and a blowjob”.

I’ve now had a Blackberry Bold for the better part of a month at the insistence of my boss, and can now understand the attraction. Not only can I check email while sitting on the toilet, it has a ton of other features that I really like. The video camera is first rate for what I would use a video camera for, and I especially like the little voice recorder where I can record notes for later use. It also has a lot of other things that I really love, like the games. For all of you who I used to give shit to for their smart phones, I’m sorry. I’m now one of you. As far as the “hot coffee and blowjob” scenario is concerned, I think that will be in the next generation Iphone.

= + =

And now a look at what I like to call “Completely Retarded Behavior”.
I work for a company that has roughly 250 employees. Every once in a while, if someone gets promoted or there is a policy that The Powers That Are want to put out, an email gets sent out to every employee telling them about it. I have no problem with that because it’s a great way to get information out in a hurry.
What I DO have a problem with are those people who feel that they must share their opinions, however absurd, with everyone in the company. They’ll do a Reply All to the email and spout their bullshit or congratulate whoever got promoted. To me, this just seems like ass-kissing the management, letting them know that they are In The Know.
It would be better if, once they found out someone got promoted, to send that person an email letting the person who got promoted how they feel, instead of the ENTIRE COMPANY. Or, do what I did and find the person and tell them face to face what I thought. It’s a sad thing when people with obviously room temperature IQ’s have access to computer equipment.

+ = +

There should be a rule that, if your waist measurements are larger than your height, you should not be able to purchase fast food, period.

As Dr. Hunter S. Thompson said, “That is all Ye Know and all Ye Need to Know”.

No comments:

Post a Comment