So, as is my custom, I stopped by the ATM closest to my house this morning before heading to work. Today is payday for us, and my normal routine is to stop by the ATM around 6:30 AM and grab some cash, since my paycheck gets posted into my account around 6 AM. This has pretty much been the routine since my arrival here on Guam.
This morning was a little different. I get into the ATM, find out my balance, and am getting ready to pull some cash, when shit goes weird. Suddenly, the machine locks up, and tells me that it’s going to sleep. Huh? I wait a few moments, and the machine reboots, with my card still inside it. I start pushing buttons, but alas my card has been eaten. Another guy comes up and is able to complete his transaction with no problems after the machine has completed the reboot.
I get the bank’s toll-free number on line, explain the situation to them. They tell me that the fastest and easiest way to resolve the situation is for them to send me a new ATM card, which means that it will take 7-10 days before I get a new card. A minor inconvenience, but also not a great way to start a Friday. You would think that this would put me in a foul mood to start the day, but it really didn’t. It meant that I would have to hit the bank later and grab cash, which isn’t exactly a bad thing.
You see, dear readers, the bank that is closest to my workplace has an added benefit, especially if you are male. Nearly all of the staff of this particular bank are women, the majority of which are quite pretty. Since I used to have to go to the actual bank a couple of times a month to send out my spousal support payments, the women there have gotten to know me pretty well, so much so that they will call me by name. It’s kind of a play on the old Cheers theme “a place where everyone knows your name” but in a nice way.
Two of these woman in particular are really nice to me. One of them, Kelly, is in her low 30’s and has pretty much either been pregnant or is recovering from a pregnancy in the entire four years I have been going to the place. She’s one of those women who seem to get pregnant whenever she’s within 30 feet of a naked penis. A very pretty woman, and also quite nice. Really friendly and an absolute pro at her job.
The other lady is what would be considered a “BBW” or Big Beautiful Woman (Amanda). She’s rather large, but in all the right places, with an insanely beautiful face. Every time I see her, my mind remembers the old Jeff Foxworthy joke about what guys sometimes think about when they watch bull-riding on TV: I could ride her but I’d probably end up getting hurt. Amanda’s probably a handful, but in an incredibly awesome way. If both she and I were single, I’d ask her out in a nanosecond.
I went in to the bank this morning, took care of business, telling them about my ATM adventure and chatting for a few moments before hitting the road to do some stuff for my employer. Amanda told me that the machine next to their bank also had been doing the same thing, and she had thought that it was only their location that had the problem.
Now, you might be thinking that it’s bad to flirt with these women, but it’s totally all in fun. All parties involved are married, especially me. I’ve said it before, but I think my wife is the most beautiful woman on the planet, and I would just as soon cut my own genitalia off as cheat on her. Which is, ironically, what would happen if my wife found out I did cheat on her.
With all of that said, while I am married, I’m still a man and not dead. Cheat, no. Look, hell yes.
Like I said, sometimes a minor inconvenience can have a bright spot.
This morning was a little different. I get into the ATM, find out my balance, and am getting ready to pull some cash, when shit goes weird. Suddenly, the machine locks up, and tells me that it’s going to sleep. Huh? I wait a few moments, and the machine reboots, with my card still inside it. I start pushing buttons, but alas my card has been eaten. Another guy comes up and is able to complete his transaction with no problems after the machine has completed the reboot.
I get the bank’s toll-free number on line, explain the situation to them. They tell me that the fastest and easiest way to resolve the situation is for them to send me a new ATM card, which means that it will take 7-10 days before I get a new card. A minor inconvenience, but also not a great way to start a Friday. You would think that this would put me in a foul mood to start the day, but it really didn’t. It meant that I would have to hit the bank later and grab cash, which isn’t exactly a bad thing.
You see, dear readers, the bank that is closest to my workplace has an added benefit, especially if you are male. Nearly all of the staff of this particular bank are women, the majority of which are quite pretty. Since I used to have to go to the actual bank a couple of times a month to send out my spousal support payments, the women there have gotten to know me pretty well, so much so that they will call me by name. It’s kind of a play on the old Cheers theme “a place where everyone knows your name” but in a nice way.
Two of these woman in particular are really nice to me. One of them, Kelly, is in her low 30’s and has pretty much either been pregnant or is recovering from a pregnancy in the entire four years I have been going to the place. She’s one of those women who seem to get pregnant whenever she’s within 30 feet of a naked penis. A very pretty woman, and also quite nice. Really friendly and an absolute pro at her job.
The other lady is what would be considered a “BBW” or Big Beautiful Woman (Amanda). She’s rather large, but in all the right places, with an insanely beautiful face. Every time I see her, my mind remembers the old Jeff Foxworthy joke about what guys sometimes think about when they watch bull-riding on TV: I could ride her but I’d probably end up getting hurt. Amanda’s probably a handful, but in an incredibly awesome way. If both she and I were single, I’d ask her out in a nanosecond.
I went in to the bank this morning, took care of business, telling them about my ATM adventure and chatting for a few moments before hitting the road to do some stuff for my employer. Amanda told me that the machine next to their bank also had been doing the same thing, and she had thought that it was only their location that had the problem.
Now, you might be thinking that it’s bad to flirt with these women, but it’s totally all in fun. All parties involved are married, especially me. I’ve said it before, but I think my wife is the most beautiful woman on the planet, and I would just as soon cut my own genitalia off as cheat on her. Which is, ironically, what would happen if my wife found out I did cheat on her.
With all of that said, while I am married, I’m still a man and not dead. Cheat, no. Look, hell yes.
Like I said, sometimes a minor inconvenience can have a bright spot.
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