Some of my friends have the wrong impression about how I address people at work, so for their general benefit, let me explain my somewhat backwards philosophy. You see, it has to do with the fact that I address some people as “Mr. Smith” or “Ms. Jones”, and some people by their first names. In my weird way of thinking, addressing someone by Mr. or Ms. is a sign of disrespect. It’s acknowledging their presence and very little else. It also means, 9 times out of 10, that I really don’t trust that person, not even a little bit.
Addressing someone by their first name speaks of familiarity and trust; people you can depend on, friends, coworkers you want to go fight the forces of darkness and evil with. The people that you know deep in your soul have your back when things get shitty. Sad to say, but in my particular company, there are no individuals in management positions that meet this criteria.
Since the company I work for is Japanese owned, some people have gotten into the habit of addressing coworkers by their first name with –san added at the end of it. Those who have tried to do this with me rarely do it twice because of the reaction that it gets them. It would be different if the company itself was actually located in Japan; then the –san would be more than acceptable. Since the company is in fact on Guam, the –san thing bothers me, a lot. The last person who did this got a big blast of German thrown his way, which confused him a great deal and amused me to no end. I don’t mind it so much when Japanese people do it, but when others do, I have to remind them in my own brutal way that the title is unacceptable to me.
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For some strange reason, the word “tallywacker” popped up in my head the other day. For those of you who have never heard the word, “tallywacker” is a slang word for the penis. It’s one that’s not used very much anymore (the word, not the actual penis), and for some reason it struck me as amusing. The word “scallywag” also popped up in my frontal lobes. It’s an old word and just sounds cooler than calling someone an asshole. “That guy, he’s a damn scallywag”.
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There are people who believe that giving an individual “the silent treatment” is punishing them. If the wife does it, I know that she is well and truly pissed off at me. This has happened a couple of times in the last month or so, and it really isn’t fun to deal with.. When it comes from someone that you love, the silent treatment sucks.
If some of my coworkers that I don’t like do it, I think to myself “Thank Christ this asshole has finally shut the hell up.” In fact, there are two of them (the brown-nosers I have mentioned in earlier blogs) where I would be more than overjoyed if they never spoke to me again. The words that come out of their mouths are usually stupid, and of course there is the scent of Executive Penis on their breath to deal with.
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The wife and I are both dealing with issues relating to aging, even though we are both in our 40’s. As you get older, shit just starts to hurt. Knees sound like someone stepping on a bag of Rice Krispies when you get out of bed. Aches and pains in places that you didn’t even know you had.
The most noticeable thing to me have been my farts. When I turned 40, they started getting loud but not smelly. Just a whole lot of noise but really no content. Now, as I approach my 48th year, there has been a change. I don’t know if it’s overwork or poor diet or what, but now I’m emitting ass gas that literally stops all conversation in a room. Smells so horribly Wrong that I stink out my own self.
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Speaking of fecal related matters, how gross is it when someone gets shit on the seat of the toilet? What are they doing that would cause this?
And is it too much to ask that someone have the common decency to flush after they have “dropped some kids off at the pool”? I ran into this the other day where I work. What really caught my attention as I was noticing this was that there was no toilet paper accompanying said turdage. Taking a dump & not wiping your ass is just beyond gross and nasty.
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I hope that everyone enjoys their Veterans Day off tomorrow. While you are engaged in relaxing activities, I ask that everyone take a moment to think about those in uniform and the sacrifices they make and have made to our country. Like the song says, “All Gave Some, Some Gave All”.
Addressing someone by their first name speaks of familiarity and trust; people you can depend on, friends, coworkers you want to go fight the forces of darkness and evil with. The people that you know deep in your soul have your back when things get shitty. Sad to say, but in my particular company, there are no individuals in management positions that meet this criteria.
Since the company I work for is Japanese owned, some people have gotten into the habit of addressing coworkers by their first name with –san added at the end of it. Those who have tried to do this with me rarely do it twice because of the reaction that it gets them. It would be different if the company itself was actually located in Japan; then the –san would be more than acceptable. Since the company is in fact on Guam, the –san thing bothers me, a lot. The last person who did this got a big blast of German thrown his way, which confused him a great deal and amused me to no end. I don’t mind it so much when Japanese people do it, but when others do, I have to remind them in my own brutal way that the title is unacceptable to me.
=+=
For some strange reason, the word “tallywacker” popped up in my head the other day. For those of you who have never heard the word, “tallywacker” is a slang word for the penis. It’s one that’s not used very much anymore (the word, not the actual penis), and for some reason it struck me as amusing. The word “scallywag” also popped up in my frontal lobes. It’s an old word and just sounds cooler than calling someone an asshole. “That guy, he’s a damn scallywag”.
+=+
There are people who believe that giving an individual “the silent treatment” is punishing them. If the wife does it, I know that she is well and truly pissed off at me. This has happened a couple of times in the last month or so, and it really isn’t fun to deal with.. When it comes from someone that you love, the silent treatment sucks.
If some of my coworkers that I don’t like do it, I think to myself “Thank Christ this asshole has finally shut the hell up.” In fact, there are two of them (the brown-nosers I have mentioned in earlier blogs) where I would be more than overjoyed if they never spoke to me again. The words that come out of their mouths are usually stupid, and of course there is the scent of Executive Penis on their breath to deal with.
=+=
The wife and I are both dealing with issues relating to aging, even though we are both in our 40’s. As you get older, shit just starts to hurt. Knees sound like someone stepping on a bag of Rice Krispies when you get out of bed. Aches and pains in places that you didn’t even know you had.
The most noticeable thing to me have been my farts. When I turned 40, they started getting loud but not smelly. Just a whole lot of noise but really no content. Now, as I approach my 48th year, there has been a change. I don’t know if it’s overwork or poor diet or what, but now I’m emitting ass gas that literally stops all conversation in a room. Smells so horribly Wrong that I stink out my own self.
=+=
Speaking of fecal related matters, how gross is it when someone gets shit on the seat of the toilet? What are they doing that would cause this?
And is it too much to ask that someone have the common decency to flush after they have “dropped some kids off at the pool”? I ran into this the other day where I work. What really caught my attention as I was noticing this was that there was no toilet paper accompanying said turdage. Taking a dump & not wiping your ass is just beyond gross and nasty.
+=+
I hope that everyone enjoys their Veterans Day off tomorrow. While you are engaged in relaxing activities, I ask that everyone take a moment to think about those in uniform and the sacrifices they make and have made to our country. Like the song says, “All Gave Some, Some Gave All”.
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