Slanguage

It’s no secret that I have always been fascinated by language. Not just English, which is my native language and one that I’m somewhat fluent in, but all languages. Phrases, especially those that are considered slang or slanguage, interests me a lot.

Here are a few phrases that have crossed my frontal lobes recently.

QUIET DESPERATION
I love this phrase, because in two simple words, there is a lot of power. It means that things are so incredibly fucked up, the spoken word cannot possibly convey how fucked up the situation is. Whatever is going on is so horribly wrong, it defies description. I have “been there, done that” on more than one occasion.

I WOULDN’T PISS ON HIM IF HE WERE ON FIRE
A product of my Missouri/Colorado upbringing, heard many times from the males in my family. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t mean that the speaker has an urge to urinate on someone. What it means is that a person is so beneath contempt, so utterly worthless and assholish, that the speaker would rather watch the person burn to death rather than helping put out the fire in a vulgar fashion. I often use this phrase concerning nearly every member of the Executive Management Team of the company I work for.

TAKING A SHIT/PISS
Ok, if you’re taking it, exactly where are you taking it? For that matter, why are you taking it?

IT IS WHAT IT IS
This phrase is both annoying and amusing at the same time. Annoying when overused, amusing when it slid into a conversation every once in a while. It defines something without either sugarcoating it or making it sound worse than it actually is.

REFERRING TO SOMEONE AS “A DICK”
The use of the word dick as a description confuses me somewhat, even though I use it often. On one hand, a dick is something that is very personal to most men. Even if our dicks are small, they are a part of us, a part that sometimes shapes our masculinity. I don’t know one man who isn’t quite fond of his dick. I like my dick a lot, even though it has gotten me into a lot of trouble throughout my life.

With that said, calling someone a dick is a great way to express negative feelings towards another person or about another person. When someone tells you, “That guy is a dick”, you know for a fact that the person speaking holds the other person in a high level of distain.

These are just some of the things I think about when I’m overly tired, or my imagination starts running wild.