Monday Morning at The Guam Desk

“It’s a town full of losers, I’m pulling out of here to win.”
Bruce Springsteen

And now, kidlings, now that I am fully energized with coffee and cigarettes, ready to face the challenges of the new workday, it’s time once again for an update from The Guam Desk.

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I love me some Facebook, but think it’s time to talk about something that has been bothering me for a long time. Those of you who are into the gaming that is a part of FB, cool. Good for you, glad you found something you enjoy doing. With that said, though, I have to tell all of you gamers that I REALLY DON’T CARE about what you happen to be doing in Farmville or Mafia Wars or any other time-waster that you get involved with, and I would appreciate it if you would just enjoy your gaming in private and not clutter up the ether with your posts. I could give a shit less that you have sodomized your barnyard animals in Farmland or Farmville or whatever. It also goes on to prove that there are people in the world who have a lot more free time on their hands than I do.

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Yesterday was our annual Company Picnic, being held down at Jeff’s Pirates Cove down at the southern end of the island. The Gorgeous One and I did not attend, because in spite of the title of this blog, I’m really not into Mandatory Fun. I’m also not fond of these gatherings because there is something about seeing wholesale ass-kissing up close and personal that really bothers me a lot. In my company, there are only about 30 people I can actually stand being around, so it was better not to be there and ruin their frivolity.

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Those of you who don’t have a lot of experience hanging out with Filipinos, let me school you on something for a moment. When Filipinos have a party, even a small gathering of friends or family to celebrate some occasion, there is always a lot of food involved. I mean, A LOT. For the second Saturday in a row, the wife and I spent the evening at her aunt’s house in Yigo, where we ate so much food that I’m surprised we were able to walk away. There was seafood, mussels, fruit salad (made with fresh tropical fruit and coconut) and of course, my personal Kryptonite, BBQ Pig Meat fresh off the fire. It was a good night, filled with a lot of laughter and interesting conversation, and fortunately the rain held off.

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A note to those of you who are currently running for public office here on Guam: ENOUGH ALREADY. You folks have ruined the scenery of the island by putting up your signs everywhere that there is a wide enough spot in the dirt to put one. TV is almost unwatchable because of all the commercials telling us how you will make life better for all of us. We all know that the government here is the second-most corrupt government in the Asia Pacific region (second only to the Philippines), and we all know that each and every one of you who is running for public office is already bought and paid for. Give us citizens a rest, for crying out loud.

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