Shit My Dad Says

There is a new book that has hit the shelves recently called Sh*t My Dad Says. It’s a story of a guy who goes through a divorce and ends up moving back in with his father, and he captures some of the wisdom his dad lays down on him in a pretty amusing way. If you get the chance, give it a read. It’s a pretty funny book.

It did get me thinking about some of the things my Dad laid on me over the years. Some of the things my own Dad says or has said that still hold a place in storage in my brain, that I’ll occasionally go back to once in a while.

I Can’t Stop You from Doing It But I’ll Sure as Hell Break You of the Habit
Whenever anyone would do something stupid or get ready to do something stupid, you would hear this. It’s both funny and somewhat menacing at the same time. Kind of like saying “Go ahead, asshole. Do it and see what happens”, but in a funny kind of way. Still had the menace attached to it, and it made you give a second thought to what you were doing, but still pretty funny to hear.

Ya Gotta Be Tough to Live in the West
Something bad happens to you or someone you know. It could be bad as in sprained your ankle, or as in when life hands you a shitty deal and you have to go through it.

(Name of Company) Wanted Me to Have This
My Dad is the master at taking stuff that nobody wants and turning it into something useful. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. That and the time honored habit of stealing from your workplace, something I think we all do or have done every once in a while. Dad is by no means a thief, but he has been able to take stuff that no one really wants and use it to his own advantage in his own home, or to give to someone else who has need. He once took a shitload of old railroad ties and made awesome garden boxes with it. I use this phrase my own self on those occasions when I find something I know no one has any interest in and decide to take home, where I can put it to good use.

If You Go Hungry in My House, It’s Your Own Fault
Even when he was unemployed and struggling, Dad was always able to put food on the table. While there were some rough times when I was growing up, I never went hungry. (That would come later on at my own hand, unfortunately). Growing up, there was always food on the table, even if it were something simple like eggs and toast for dinner. He made shit work, and if you were hungry, you had no one to blame but yourself.

These aren’t all of the phrases my dad is known to use, but they are the best ones; the ones that have hung with me over the years, and in many ways have adopted for my own use. There is wisdom there, in both small and large ways, and also a slice of his personality that remains a part of me.